My Journey Off Antidepressants after being on them for 20 years (Age 4 to 24)

I am still pinching myself how well I have been off of antidepressants after having been on them for so long (20 years). I reached my goal of being off them before my adult brain matures at 25.

What has helped me:

- Self love and compassion

- spirtuality (healing my chakras, practicing being present and staying grounded in my body, mediation, practicing detachment from the thoughts, emotions, outcomes and desires which create suffering and choosing letting go and acceptance) 

- using natural therapies

- practising self disapline (in a compassionate way. I.e making myself get out of bed, eat healthy, budget my money because I know its for my highest good)

- Shadow work and inner child work (accepting the parts of me I ignored and rejected growing up and integrating them into my life to become whole so my subconscious doesn't control my emotions and actions. Listening to parts and giving compassion to the parts of me which felt hurt, unheard, abandoned and uncared for)

- Balancing the masculine/Yang part of me which needs to feel in control, constantly busy, taking action, achieving, giving, producing etc and learning to balance it with my feminine/Ying allowing me to go with the flow, enjoy the still, rest and recover, recieve, nuture etc.

- healthy diet

- exercise

- keeping creative and practicing self expression through my creativity

- choosing myself over conforming or rejecting myself to blend into the crowd (finding and embodying my authenitc/higher self)

- sitting with and processing my emotions allowing myself to feel them then release them.

When I allow myself to feel and cry I literally feel brand new afterwards. Its the resistance to feeling which creates prolonged suffering and can cause further consequences when your emotions aren't chanelled in healthy ways, they control you instead of you controlling them. You have to feel it to heal it. 

I have realised from meditation alone how much fear and being too hard on yourself causes depression. I am able to catch my thoughts now when im avoiding doing something that will benefit me but fear is stopping me. I accept that its ok to take baby steps and forgive myself for not feeling able to do said things. And guess what happens. After letting go of the resistance and the voice that beats me up with the 'shoulds'. I find it so easy to get up and do the action I was afraid to do. I carry out the action from a place of compassion instead of beating myself up for feeling incapable. 

So thats what I have been doing with my time 😅

Disclaimer:

To those who are on antidepressants and/or suffer depression. I have had a long hard road to hell and back so by no means is this post meant to make it sounds like it was easy. The first time I came off them it wasn't a success because I had not fully learnt how to utilize these important practices. I'm still learning and practicing, there are still days I slip up.

Chapter 2 of Miss Molly & Aspergers: Womanhood as a Women on The Autism Spectrum

Hello,
I recently have been contemplating writing a new post here on Miss Molly and Aspergers, yet I have not known or have come to know what to write about. I have asked myself many questions; is this blog still relevant or going to continue to relate to the Autism world and upon asking myself this question I got my answer. of course! I do not want to scare those of you who are still in your teen years, however I am not going to lie, there is a whole other ball game with Autism in Adulthood and Adulthood itself.

I have been gifted upon graduating into the Adulthood a bigger pond to swim in. Below I am going to list the positives and the not so positive and those not so positive points I am going to be using Miss Molly and Asperger's to write for you; my hindsight, experiences and development as a young woman and adult on the Autism Spectrum. I hope to give you some skills to have ready in your kit which can help ease your transition.
P.s Even if you are not on the Autism Spectrum as any young adult or even older adult, if any of my advice is relevant or helpful to you are more then welcome here! So please don't be shy to subscribe!

Independence/Freedom:                                                                                             
Responsibilities/ Library fines - Its on you!

More people/places/options to make friends:                      
More opportunities to be taken advantage of (A sad but true fact and there is no need to be discouraged! There are plenty of kind hearted people out there too. I have a few solid people in my tribe and I wouldn't have found them or been certain of their true natures if I had not have met and been involved with some of the crueler people in this world - you just can't trust everyone and us Aspies are naturally very trusting... more on that to come!)

Live in your own place:
Solely up to you to keep that roof over your head 

Choose when and where to study:
Need to motivate yourself (now you don't have a parent telling you to get out of bed to go to uni anymore)

Can date whoever you like:
The only boundaries in place are your own - so if they are a jerk you haven't got your parent to back you up on why they cant come around anymore.

You can choose whatever you like to spend your money on:                                        
Just remember Rent, Food, Bills come first! You might make a few mistakes here I'm still learning trust me you can't eat that brand new handbag! 

Its up to you when and (IF) you do housework!         
"The house is gross and I swear the clothes in the pile are coming from a vortex because I don't think I even wore those - I might just wear them as they look unworn and I have nothing clean! I can't eat because there is nothing in the whole house which is clean to eat off... oh wait maybe the ice cream container lid under the sink will work for a plate!"

You can stay up as late as you like!                
If you thought meeting Lisa for coffee to work on that assignment the following morning you might be greeting her already having had 3 coffees or you don't show up at all!

Your dog or cat gets sick?                                 
The Vet isn't going to ask for your parents credit card.

You can eat whatever you like for dinner!                   
Be careful here as you may or may not get malnourished or develop a dairy intolerance from only eating a pint of Connoisseur a day with a protein bar now and then for lunch or end up crying over how much Uber Eats made out of you plus five kilograms.

That is all I have for tonight because if I'm not careful I'm gonna struggle getting up to in fact meet my best friend for coffee at teen am haha! 

I hope I haven't scared you, you don't need to be and I don't want you to avoid making similar mistakes because if I didn't make these I wouldn't have learnt from them or be able to give you this post and help you along the way.

Thank you so much for stopping in, speak again soon,

Love Molly

Its been awhile... Life got adventurous while I was away growing into a woman

Hiya,

I must first start by saying oh my gosh... where did the time go??!
writing this post today I would like to inform you I am 21 going on 22 these days, and my gosh how much I have grown up!
This isn't such a bad thing haha. I have so much to share from the past 4 years now, its going to take some time, though now I will be able to share my experiences, life skills and how I cope as an adult Aspergers woman in my 20's.

I am now going to attempt to give my briefest summary possible as I would love to put together more specific posts which I can articulate so they will be useful for you and others instead of me beginning to write a book here and now about the last 4 years of y life haha.

So...
I made it into independence. (not a smooth adventure... but I wouldn't be where I am now if it had of been)
I am living out of home on my own lease with my amazing boyfriend.
I finished my jewellery course.
I now have a joint studio/workshop space with four of my peers I graduated with.
If you are interested to have a look at how I have been going with my jewellery see my webpage Molly Frances Jewellery Design.

I got to keep my Blue Heeler Archer, he moved out of my mums place with me. and he isn't so young anymore. His 11 now and I am having to cope with seeing him grow old and tired with arthritis. He doesn't run like he use to, slowed right down my poor boy. I love him lots.

I am going to taper this post off here now as it is 2 minutes to midnight here and I could easily spend the early hours of the morning writing away haha.

I hope to hear from you too about how your journey over the last 4 years has gone.

I have missed you.

x Molly

Common Aspergers & ASD Traits

Hi All!

I have been thinking it would be a good idea to refresh people of the traits of Asperger’s and what being an Aspie entails. It has been awhile since I have made a post on the overall aspects of Asperger’s, so I feel a refreshment is in order!

What it means to have Asperger’s/ Common Aspie Traits: (these traits are often disputed in different orders and combinations (no one Aspie will share all of the same traits)

1 . Lack of or too much eye contact.

2. Talks a lot about their interests, loves to share!

3. Has obsessive interests that are a huge part of their life and career aspirations. (I.e. If an Aspie is into computer programming, they will most likely aim to achieve their highest in this area. Thus, making it their career field).

4. Has an extremely good long term memory and a not so good short term memory. This includes things which are of great interest to an Aspie’s mind or caused a significant emotional effect such as bullying experiences. We can remember even the smallest of those details such as the person’s name, despite having experienced this in grade 1. The same applies for vice versa, such as a person who contributed an amazing and gratifying effect on our lives or were an extremely compassionate person that one would be immensely appreciative of encountering. These memories are likely to stick to our mind, being permanently glued to our subconscious and will unlikely be forgotten.

Our short term memory however, is compromised at times. Normally because of ideas and thoughts pertaining to an interest or desire. Therefore, anything that’s not interesting to us at the time will go in one ear and out the other whilst other ideas are playing on our mind.

5. Different sense of humor (can find the strangest of things amusing or funny)

6. Has sensory issues to do with a heighten sense of sound, touch ,feel, taste, and sight.

7. Can have trouble communicating their needs or intentions (a common occurrence is being misinterpreted by other people. Also misinterpreting ourselves, the intentions of others, and their motives.

8. Delayed responsiveness in situations (has a longer processing time)

9. Coordination issues can be common too.

10. An intense need of routine and familiarity. One often becomes distressed when changes are made or are unexpected. As we grow older we can learn to adjust to changes. Compared to NT’s who adjust drastically, Aspie’s tend to require more time to gradually develop the ability to adjust and cope with change. (stepping stones, rather than a large meteorite)

Well, that's a few pointers for now. Thank you for reading as usual! Have a nice weekend!
- Miss Molly x

Sensory Overload

Hello again!

So what are sensory issues/ overloads?

Many people who have Autism and Aspergers can have a heightened sense of, taste, touch, sound, feel and sight.
A sensory overload is a common cause of a 'Meltdown'. This is typically a result of having to deal with a real dislike and discomfort of certain textures and the inability to function and process too many sounds and sights at once. Outbursts are common in such situations because processing becomes extremely difficult. Aspies can fall behind in class or misunderstand instructions due to these sensory issues. This results in further trauma as those who do not understand 'sensory issues/overloads' (teachers, class mates, authority figures) will deem the behaving Aspie as rude or misbehaving. When in fact their behaviour is a result of having a 'sensory overload' not an intention to misbehave.

My Experiences (may be different to other Aspies):

1. I can not process more then one sensory situation at one time.
For example: If two or more people are talking in the same room as me, while I try to watch the television. It deems as an impossible task for me to do.

2. I have experienced having my little sister make noises and crack silly jokes at me while I am on the phone to someone. In these situations I fail to interpret all of the information said by the person on the other end of the line.

3.Sudden and very unexpected noises will cause me to freak out physically. I have felt embarrassed on many occasions after my body has experienced jolts and spasm like movements. This is due to the arise of an unexpected loud noise, thus having no prior knowledge of needing to interpret.

4. Smell. I often smell things earlier or stronger then other people. My sense of smell is heightened. Example: If the fireplace had been lite and caused some smoking; even though my family believe the smell had dissipated, I can continue to smell its linger for days. Many times I have said 'I can smell....." And people would reply "I don't know what're you're on about".


5. Sight- I can not handle a sudden image or object coming in close proximity of my line of sight or from a blind sight. This is similar in the way of noises - unexpected or loud in movement.

6. Touch/Feel- Textures are a big issue for Aspies. Certain feelings are uncomfortable and make it difficult for to us to maintain a sense of comfort.
As a young girl (and still to this day), I removed tags and strings off clothing and could not handle the feel of thick wool jumper and oily feelings on my hands (finger food. I.e. chicken drumsticks).
These oily textures are unpleasant for me and other Aspies. Having to deal with these feelings are often avoided by using eating utensils, gloves or cleaning my hands straight after consuming.
I also could not stand handling fish bait with my hands as the feel and smell would be obvious to me on my hands for an extensive periods of time afterwards. I remember trying to get the smell out of my hands with vinegar after coming home from fishing, even when others would perceive your hands as being 'clean'.
Many times whilst road traveling, my mum had to stock up on wet wipes for me, or I would be irritable if I couldn't clean textures off my hands.
Also dish washing can be unpleasant for me too. As I get frustrated with not being able to get the oiliness out of dishes and then having to deal with the dry and funny feel of my hands afterwards , as a result of this and the soapy hot water.

Conclusion:
So basically sensory issues are a heightened sense of feel, and the difficulty of interpreting numerous noises/movements/instructions. Having these heightened senses, when an unexpected noise and sight occurs, it is in reason to be frightening and a struggle to deal with.
For these reasons many Aspies avoid big crowds, loud concerts, night clubs, 3D-Movies, shopping centers and public transport. Sensory overloads in these areas in particular are common for us. As well as avoiding over powering fragrances, certain clothing textures, certain foods, toiletries and products.

Thank you for reading!
Question: Do you have any sensory issues or sensory overload experiences to share?

x Molly

Importance of a Comfortable and Organised Environment

Hello !
Today I want to share with you the importance it is for me personally to have an orderly and pleasant environment to live, work and relax in.
Today after many months of having the same room arrangement, it began to clutter and accumulate dust under and behind furniture, as well the general system of my room beginning to slack. I also feel making a change like this is a good way of welcoming in new good and positive opportunities (mood, life, productivity, etc). As having the same room arrangement through troubled times and/or depressive periods. It generally keeps and preserves that negative mood set for me. So in order to change that mood set, I changed my room, the soul environment I wake up in and go to sleep at night. I feel so uplifted, motivated, relaxed and happy with my new space now.

Today I changed my room completely around and cleaned it up.
I cannot sleep or work in an environment that is not kept.
As well as the importance of cleanliness and organisation. I like to make my room my own special space and retreat to enjoy. Candles, ornaments, soft blankets, cute containers, pictures, posters, incense, and my fashion and stationary items kept neatly and niceness are what make an enjoyable space for me.

Aspies either thrive in an orderly environment or need not attend to keep an orderly environment at all to feel comfortable in.

However this is my preference and organisation is the best way for me to stay motivated and relaxed.

Here are the pictures of the finished result! Including my new water fountain (relaxation purposes), dream catcher, candles and my new jewellery storage cupboard :)
You can also see my feature wall of my 'works'. Including my Drawings and Photography and Digital Productions.

I would love to know whether you 'require your environment to be clean and pleasant" or 'you don't mind it to be not kept'

Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Bye for now,

x Miss Molly

Positives of Having an Aspergers Friend

1.What you see is what you get:
(Excluding first time social situations).As Aspies we can have time periods where our full selves gradually evolve around you. 
When we meet people for the first time we reserve ourselves to start with. I guess its a natural instinct for all really. To summarize: If you have known an Aspie for at least a few months and had regular social interaction with them and you can observe they are comfortable around you. Then its pretty certain by this time you have seen all of who we are. We cannot contain ourselves (personality traits) for excessive periods of time around people we begin to feel comfortable with. So rest assure, we are who we appear to be. 

2. Loyalty:
We are extremely loyal to people who are good to us. We go through life exploring for good friendships, with many heartbreaks along the way. 
When we meet a good person, we will appreciate their friendship to the very end. However our loyalty is not to be taken advantage of, which is fair enough. No one should be obligated to stay loyal to an loyal friend, whether you have Aspergers or not. Saying this, it can take a great length of time for an Aspie to realise a toxic friend. We can be easily fooled by sweet smiles. We are a target for people with two-faced syndrome haha. This is due to our belief of seeing the best in others. Though when we do finally realise, we will move on and look forward to meeting new people with mutual respect and loyalty. My point is we value good friends extremely well, and stay true to you for as long as you are true to us.

3. Fun and Humour:
We can have an unpredictable sense humor and the ability to surprise you at anytime. This makes for unforgettable memories of fun and good times. Only two weeks ago, my neurotypical best friend and I were reciting memories from 1-2 years ago. These moments we had were just too good to forget. We laughed all over again like it was yesterday. Maybe I will mention some of our funny moments sometime soon.

4.Trustworthiness/Honesty:
People with Aspergers find it very difficult to tell lies; we can, although eventually we will reveal the truth. The majority of these will be little white lies, technically harmless. However we can not hold on to the guilt for very long, no matter how small it is.
However our honesty should not be mistaken, as we are extremely trustworthy with other peoples issues. To this day; I have kept my first time best friend's crush a secret, since primary (elementary) school (2006). (one of hundreds of examples). I have actually forgotten the fellas name, proof of how long its been. You can 100% rest assure in the fact, you can talk to me about anything and I have and forever will keep my word. My best friend Hannah is my referee hehe.

5. Uniquness
It is very likely if you have an Aspie friend they may stand apart from mainstream influences just a little bit or maybe a lot.
Typically you may notice we may have a different dress sense or taste in music not typical to our peers. For example I love vintage clothing and 70's and 80's rock music. I love Guns and Roses, Bon Jovi, Cold Chisel and Fleetwood Mac (a few examples). 

I have met many Aspies with such interests/hobbies/obsessions:
- Science, Computer Programming, Art, Mathematics, Biology, Geometry, Space, Nature, Photography, Creative Writing, Animals, Conservation. Just to name a few.

Additional information about our interests:
When an Aspie becomes interest in a subject, it usually, in most cases becomes our life long aspiration. Because of this, we can process, learn and teach knowledge about these particular subjects to a professional level. When we are passionate about such things we can excel at them. We have a tendency to focus to extreme. Sometimes you may not see me for days, as I will be working away on a passion of mine. Historic scientists have been rumored to have had Aspergers or were savants (savants are people who have extreme forms of Aspergers - usually gifted to the max with one thing and no ability to perform at anything else). They hid away from society to such an extent because of their focus and determination of their passions. This resulted in such things as light bulbs being invented haha. 

As usually this post has gone off subject just a tiny bit haha. I cannot retain myself from given the most detail possible, whether it fits in to context or not. 

Hope you liked this post, and have a good day :)