Hiya,
I must first start by saying oh my gosh... where did the time go??!
writing this post today I would like to inform you I am 21 going on 22 these days, and my gosh how much I have grown up!
This isn't such a bad thing haha. I have so much to share from the past 4 years now, its going to take some time, though now I will be able to share my experiences, life skills and how I cope as an adult Aspergers woman in my 20's.
I am now going to attempt to give my briefest summary possible as I would love to put together more specific posts which I can articulate so they will be useful for you and others instead of me beginning to write a book here and now about the last 4 years of y life haha.
So...
I made it into independence. (not a smooth adventure... but I wouldn't be where I am now if it had of been)
I am living out of home on my own lease with my amazing boyfriend.
I finished my jewellery course.
I now have a joint studio/workshop space with four of my peers I graduated with.
If you are interested to have a look at how I have been going with my jewellery see my webpage Molly Frances Jewellery Design.
I got to keep my Blue Heeler Archer, he moved out of my mums place with me. and he isn't so young anymore. His 11 now and I am having to cope with seeing him grow old and tired with arthritis. He doesn't run like he use to, slowed right down my poor boy. I love him lots.
I am going to taper this post off here now as it is 2 minutes to midnight here and I could easily spend the early hours of the morning writing away haha.
I hope to hear from you too about how your journey over the last 4 years has gone.
I have missed you.
x Molly
Showing posts with label Aspergers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aspergers. Show all posts
Monday, March 12, 2018
Friday, July 25, 2014
Common Aspergers & ASD Traits
Hi All!
I have been thinking it would be a good idea to refresh people of the traits of Asperger’s and what being an Aspie entails. It has been awhile since I have made a post on the overall aspects of Asperger’s, so I feel a refreshment is in order!
What it means to have Asperger’s/ Common Aspie Traits: (these traits are often disputed in different orders and combinations (no one Aspie will share all of the same traits)
1 . Lack of or too much eye contact.
2. Talks a lot about their interests, loves to share!
3. Has obsessive interests that are a huge part of their life and career aspirations. (I.e. If an Aspie is into computer programming, they will most likely aim to achieve their highest in this area. Thus, making it their career field).
4. Has an extremely good long term memory and a not so good short term memory. This includes things which are of great interest to an Aspie’s mind or caused a significant emotional effect such as bullying experiences. We can remember even the smallest of those details such as the person’s name, despite having experienced this in grade 1. The same applies for vice versa, such as a person who contributed an amazing and gratifying effect on our lives or were an extremely compassionate person that one would be immensely appreciative of encountering. These memories are likely to stick to our mind, being permanently glued to our subconscious and will unlikely be forgotten.
Our short term memory however, is compromised at times. Normally because of ideas and thoughts pertaining to an interest or desire. Therefore, anything that’s not interesting to us at the time will go in one ear and out the other whilst other ideas are playing on our mind.
5. Different sense of humor (can find the strangest of things amusing or funny)
6. Has sensory issues to do with a heighten sense of sound, touch ,feel, taste, and sight.
7. Can have trouble communicating their needs or intentions (a common occurrence is being misinterpreted by other people. Also misinterpreting ourselves, the intentions of others, and their motives.
8. Delayed responsiveness in situations (has a longer processing time)
9. Coordination issues can be common too.
10. An intense need of routine and familiarity. One often becomes distressed when changes are made or are unexpected. As we grow older we can learn to adjust to changes. Compared to NT’s who adjust drastically, Aspie’s tend to require more time to gradually develop the ability to adjust and cope with change. (stepping stones, rather than a large meteorite)
Well, that's a few pointers for now. Thank you for reading as usual! Have a nice weekend!
- Miss Molly x
- Miss Molly x
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Sensory Overload
Hello again!
So what are sensory issues/ overloads?
Many people who have Autism and Aspergers can have a heightened sense of, taste, touch, sound, feel and sight.
A sensory overload is a common cause of a 'Meltdown'. This is typically a result of having to deal with a real dislike and discomfort of certain textures and the inability to function and process too many sounds and sights at once. Outbursts are common in such situations because processing becomes extremely difficult. Aspies can fall behind in class or misunderstand instructions due to these sensory issues. This results in further trauma as those who do not understand 'sensory issues/overloads' (teachers, class mates, authority figures) will deem the behaving Aspie as rude or misbehaving. When in fact their behaviour is a result of having a 'sensory overload' not an intention to misbehave.
My Experiences (may be different to other Aspies):
1. I can not process more then one sensory situation at one time.
For example: If two or more people are talking in the same room as me, while I try to watch the television. It deems as an impossible task for me to do.
2. I have experienced having my little sister make noises and crack silly jokes at me while I am on the phone to someone. In these situations I fail to interpret all of the information said by the person on the other end of the line.
3.Sudden and very unexpected noises will cause me to freak out physically. I have felt embarrassed on many occasions after my body has experienced jolts and spasm like movements. This is due to the arise of an unexpected loud noise, thus having no prior knowledge of needing to interpret.
4. Smell. I often smell things earlier or stronger then other people. My sense of smell is heightened. Example: If the fireplace had been lite and caused some smoking; even though my family believe the smell had dissipated, I can continue to smell its linger for days. Many times I have said 'I can smell....." And people would reply "I don't know what're you're on about".
5. Sight- I can not handle a sudden image or object coming in close proximity of my line of sight or from a blind sight. This is similar in the way of noises - unexpected or loud in movement.
6. Touch/Feel- Textures are a big issue for Aspies. Certain feelings are uncomfortable and make it difficult for to us to maintain a sense of comfort.
As a young girl (and still to this day), I removed tags and strings off clothing and could not handle the feel of thick wool jumper and oily feelings on my hands (finger food. I.e. chicken drumsticks).
These oily textures are unpleasant for me and other Aspies. Having to deal with these feelings are often avoided by using eating utensils, gloves or cleaning my hands straight after consuming.
I also could not stand handling fish bait with my hands as the feel and smell would be obvious to me on my hands for an extensive periods of time afterwards. I remember trying to get the smell out of my hands with vinegar after coming home from fishing, even when others would perceive your hands as being 'clean'.
Many times whilst road traveling, my mum had to stock up on wet wipes for me, or I would be irritable if I couldn't clean textures off my hands.
Also dish washing can be unpleasant for me too. As I get frustrated with not being able to get the oiliness out of dishes and then having to deal with the dry and funny feel of my hands afterwards , as a result of this and the soapy hot water.
Conclusion:
So basically sensory issues are a heightened sense of feel, and the difficulty of interpreting numerous noises/movements/instructions. Having these heightened senses, when an unexpected noise and sight occurs, it is in reason to be frightening and a struggle to deal with.
For these reasons many Aspies avoid big crowds, loud concerts, night clubs, 3D-Movies, shopping centers and public transport. Sensory overloads in these areas in particular are common for us. As well as avoiding over powering fragrances, certain clothing textures, certain foods, toiletries and products.
Thank you for reading!
Question: Do you have any sensory issues or sensory overload experiences to share?
x Molly
So what are sensory issues/ overloads?
Many people who have Autism and Aspergers can have a heightened sense of, taste, touch, sound, feel and sight.
A sensory overload is a common cause of a 'Meltdown'. This is typically a result of having to deal with a real dislike and discomfort of certain textures and the inability to function and process too many sounds and sights at once. Outbursts are common in such situations because processing becomes extremely difficult. Aspies can fall behind in class or misunderstand instructions due to these sensory issues. This results in further trauma as those who do not understand 'sensory issues/overloads' (teachers, class mates, authority figures) will deem the behaving Aspie as rude or misbehaving. When in fact their behaviour is a result of having a 'sensory overload' not an intention to misbehave.
My Experiences (may be different to other Aspies):
1. I can not process more then one sensory situation at one time.
For example: If two or more people are talking in the same room as me, while I try to watch the television. It deems as an impossible task for me to do.
2. I have experienced having my little sister make noises and crack silly jokes at me while I am on the phone to someone. In these situations I fail to interpret all of the information said by the person on the other end of the line.
3.Sudden and very unexpected noises will cause me to freak out physically. I have felt embarrassed on many occasions after my body has experienced jolts and spasm like movements. This is due to the arise of an unexpected loud noise, thus having no prior knowledge of needing to interpret.
4. Smell. I often smell things earlier or stronger then other people. My sense of smell is heightened. Example: If the fireplace had been lite and caused some smoking; even though my family believe the smell had dissipated, I can continue to smell its linger for days. Many times I have said 'I can smell....." And people would reply "I don't know what're you're on about".
5. Sight- I can not handle a sudden image or object coming in close proximity of my line of sight or from a blind sight. This is similar in the way of noises - unexpected or loud in movement.
6. Touch/Feel- Textures are a big issue for Aspies. Certain feelings are uncomfortable and make it difficult for to us to maintain a sense of comfort.
As a young girl (and still to this day), I removed tags and strings off clothing and could not handle the feel of thick wool jumper and oily feelings on my hands (finger food. I.e. chicken drumsticks).
These oily textures are unpleasant for me and other Aspies. Having to deal with these feelings are often avoided by using eating utensils, gloves or cleaning my hands straight after consuming.
I also could not stand handling fish bait with my hands as the feel and smell would be obvious to me on my hands for an extensive periods of time afterwards. I remember trying to get the smell out of my hands with vinegar after coming home from fishing, even when others would perceive your hands as being 'clean'.
Many times whilst road traveling, my mum had to stock up on wet wipes for me, or I would be irritable if I couldn't clean textures off my hands.
Also dish washing can be unpleasant for me too. As I get frustrated with not being able to get the oiliness out of dishes and then having to deal with the dry and funny feel of my hands afterwards , as a result of this and the soapy hot water.
Conclusion:
So basically sensory issues are a heightened sense of feel, and the difficulty of interpreting numerous noises/movements/instructions. Having these heightened senses, when an unexpected noise and sight occurs, it is in reason to be frightening and a struggle to deal with.
For these reasons many Aspies avoid big crowds, loud concerts, night clubs, 3D-Movies, shopping centers and public transport. Sensory overloads in these areas in particular are common for us. As well as avoiding over powering fragrances, certain clothing textures, certain foods, toiletries and products.
Thank you for reading!
Question: Do you have any sensory issues or sensory overload experiences to share?
x Molly
Importance of a Comfortable and Organised Environment
Hello !
Today I want to share with you the importance it is for me personally to have an orderly and pleasant environment to live, work and relax in.
Today after many months of having the same room arrangement, it began to clutter and accumulate dust under and behind furniture, as well the general system of my room beginning to slack. I also feel making a change like this is a good way of welcoming in new good and positive opportunities (mood, life, productivity, etc). As having the same room arrangement through troubled times and/or depressive periods. It generally keeps and preserves that negative mood set for me. So in order to change that mood set, I changed my room, the soul environment I wake up in and go to sleep at night. I feel so uplifted, motivated, relaxed and happy with my new space now.
Today I changed my room completely around and cleaned it up.
I cannot sleep or work in an environment that is not kept.
As well as the importance of cleanliness and organisation. I like to make my room my own special space and retreat to enjoy. Candles, ornaments, soft blankets, cute containers, pictures, posters, incense, and my fashion and stationary items kept neatly and niceness are what make an enjoyable space for me.
Aspies either thrive in an orderly environment or need not attend to keep an orderly environment at all to feel comfortable in.
However this is my preference and organisation is the best way for me to stay motivated and relaxed.
Here are the pictures of the finished result! Including my new water fountain (relaxation purposes), dream catcher, candles and my new jewellery storage cupboard :)
You can also see my feature wall of my 'works'. Including my Drawings and Photography and Digital Productions.
Today I want to share with you the importance it is for me personally to have an orderly and pleasant environment to live, work and relax in.
Today after many months of having the same room arrangement, it began to clutter and accumulate dust under and behind furniture, as well the general system of my room beginning to slack. I also feel making a change like this is a good way of welcoming in new good and positive opportunities (mood, life, productivity, etc). As having the same room arrangement through troubled times and/or depressive periods. It generally keeps and preserves that negative mood set for me. So in order to change that mood set, I changed my room, the soul environment I wake up in and go to sleep at night. I feel so uplifted, motivated, relaxed and happy with my new space now.
Today I changed my room completely around and cleaned it up.
I cannot sleep or work in an environment that is not kept.
As well as the importance of cleanliness and organisation. I like to make my room my own special space and retreat to enjoy. Candles, ornaments, soft blankets, cute containers, pictures, posters, incense, and my fashion and stationary items kept neatly and niceness are what make an enjoyable space for me.
Aspies either thrive in an orderly environment or need not attend to keep an orderly environment at all to feel comfortable in.
However this is my preference and organisation is the best way for me to stay motivated and relaxed.
Here are the pictures of the finished result! Including my new water fountain (relaxation purposes), dream catcher, candles and my new jewellery storage cupboard :)
You can also see my feature wall of my 'works'. Including my Drawings and Photography and Digital Productions.
I would love to know whether you 'require your environment to be clean and pleasant" or 'you don't mind it to be not kept'
Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Bye for now,
x Miss Molly
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Positives of Having an Aspergers Friend
1.What you see is what you get:
(Excluding first time social situations).As Aspies we can have time periods where our full selves gradually evolve around you.
When we meet people for the first time we reserve ourselves to start with. I guess its a natural instinct for all really. To summarize: If you have known an Aspie for at least a few months and had regular social interaction with them and you can observe they are comfortable around you. Then its pretty certain by this time you have seen all of who we are. We cannot contain ourselves (personality traits) for excessive periods of time around people we begin to feel comfortable with. So rest assure, we are who we appear to be.
2. Loyalty:
We are extremely loyal to people who are good to us. We go through life exploring for good friendships, with many heartbreaks along the way.
When we meet a good person, we will appreciate their friendship to the very end. However our loyalty is not to be taken advantage of, which is fair enough. No one should be obligated to stay loyal to an loyal friend, whether you have Aspergers or not. Saying this, it can take a great length of time for an Aspie to realise a toxic friend. We can be easily fooled by sweet smiles. We are a target for people with two-faced syndrome haha. This is due to our belief of seeing the best in others. Though when we do finally realise, we will move on and look forward to meeting new people with mutual respect and loyalty. My point is we value good friends extremely well, and stay true to you for as long as you are true to us.
3. Fun and Humour:
We can have an unpredictable sense humor and the ability to surprise you at anytime. This makes for unforgettable memories of fun and good times. Only two weeks ago, my neurotypical best friend and I were reciting memories from 1-2 years ago. These moments we had were just too good to forget. We laughed all over again like it was yesterday. Maybe I will mention some of our funny moments sometime soon.
4.Trustworthiness/Honesty:
People with Aspergers find it very difficult to tell lies; we can, although eventually we will reveal the truth. The majority of these will be little white lies, technically harmless. However we can not hold on to the guilt for very long, no matter how small it is.
However our honesty should not be mistaken, as we are extremely trustworthy with other peoples issues. To this day; I have kept my first time best friend's crush a secret, since primary (elementary) school (2006). (one of hundreds of examples). I have actually forgotten the fellas name, proof of how long its been. You can 100% rest assure in the fact, you can talk to me about anything and I have and forever will keep my word. My best friend Hannah is my referee hehe.
5. Uniquness
It is very likely if you have an Aspie friend they may stand apart from mainstream influences just a little bit or maybe a lot.
Typically you may notice we may have a different dress sense or taste in music not typical to our peers. For example I love vintage clothing and 70's and 80's rock music. I love Guns and Roses, Bon Jovi, Cold Chisel and Fleetwood Mac (a few examples).
I have met many Aspies with such interests/hobbies/obsessions:
- Science, Computer Programming, Art, Mathematics, Biology, Geometry, Space, Nature, Photography, Creative Writing, Animals, Conservation. Just to name a few.
Additional information about our interests:
When an Aspie becomes interest in a subject, it usually, in most cases becomes our life long aspiration. Because of this, we can process, learn and teach knowledge about these particular subjects to a professional level. When we are passionate about such things we can excel at them. We have a tendency to focus to extreme. Sometimes you may not see me for days, as I will be working away on a passion of mine. Historic scientists have been rumored to have had Aspergers or were savants (savants are people who have extreme forms of Aspergers - usually gifted to the max with one thing and no ability to perform at anything else). They hid away from society to such an extent because of their focus and determination of their passions. This resulted in such things as light bulbs being invented haha.
As usually this post has gone off subject just a tiny bit haha. I cannot retain myself from given the most detail possible, whether it fits in to context or not.
Hope you liked this post, and have a good day :)
(Excluding first time social situations).As Aspies we can have time periods where our full selves gradually evolve around you.
When we meet people for the first time we reserve ourselves to start with. I guess its a natural instinct for all really. To summarize: If you have known an Aspie for at least a few months and had regular social interaction with them and you can observe they are comfortable around you. Then its pretty certain by this time you have seen all of who we are. We cannot contain ourselves (personality traits) for excessive periods of time around people we begin to feel comfortable with. So rest assure, we are who we appear to be.
2. Loyalty:
We are extremely loyal to people who are good to us. We go through life exploring for good friendships, with many heartbreaks along the way.
When we meet a good person, we will appreciate their friendship to the very end. However our loyalty is not to be taken advantage of, which is fair enough. No one should be obligated to stay loyal to an loyal friend, whether you have Aspergers or not. Saying this, it can take a great length of time for an Aspie to realise a toxic friend. We can be easily fooled by sweet smiles. We are a target for people with two-faced syndrome haha. This is due to our belief of seeing the best in others. Though when we do finally realise, we will move on and look forward to meeting new people with mutual respect and loyalty. My point is we value good friends extremely well, and stay true to you for as long as you are true to us.
3. Fun and Humour:
We can have an unpredictable sense humor and the ability to surprise you at anytime. This makes for unforgettable memories of fun and good times. Only two weeks ago, my neurotypical best friend and I were reciting memories from 1-2 years ago. These moments we had were just too good to forget. We laughed all over again like it was yesterday. Maybe I will mention some of our funny moments sometime soon.
4.Trustworthiness/Honesty:
People with Aspergers find it very difficult to tell lies; we can, although eventually we will reveal the truth. The majority of these will be little white lies, technically harmless. However we can not hold on to the guilt for very long, no matter how small it is.
However our honesty should not be mistaken, as we are extremely trustworthy with other peoples issues. To this day; I have kept my first time best friend's crush a secret, since primary (elementary) school (2006). (one of hundreds of examples). I have actually forgotten the fellas name, proof of how long its been. You can 100% rest assure in the fact, you can talk to me about anything and I have and forever will keep my word. My best friend Hannah is my referee hehe.
5. Uniquness
It is very likely if you have an Aspie friend they may stand apart from mainstream influences just a little bit or maybe a lot.
Typically you may notice we may have a different dress sense or taste in music not typical to our peers. For example I love vintage clothing and 70's and 80's rock music. I love Guns and Roses, Bon Jovi, Cold Chisel and Fleetwood Mac (a few examples).
I have met many Aspies with such interests/hobbies/obsessions:
- Science, Computer Programming, Art, Mathematics, Biology, Geometry, Space, Nature, Photography, Creative Writing, Animals, Conservation. Just to name a few.
Additional information about our interests:
When an Aspie becomes interest in a subject, it usually, in most cases becomes our life long aspiration. Because of this, we can process, learn and teach knowledge about these particular subjects to a professional level. When we are passionate about such things we can excel at them. We have a tendency to focus to extreme. Sometimes you may not see me for days, as I will be working away on a passion of mine. Historic scientists have been rumored to have had Aspergers or were savants (savants are people who have extreme forms of Aspergers - usually gifted to the max with one thing and no ability to perform at anything else). They hid away from society to such an extent because of their focus and determination of their passions. This resulted in such things as light bulbs being invented haha.
As usually this post has gone off subject just a tiny bit haha. I cannot retain myself from given the most detail possible, whether it fits in to context or not.
Hope you liked this post, and have a good day :)
Thursday, May 8, 2014
My almost 18 years - Share and Tell
Hi There :)
I am extremely overwhelmed! I will be 18 years old this coming Friday (1 week away exactly!)!
I am so astonished by how much I have already fit into my life even before reaching adulthood.
I have completed my secondary education and have begun developing my dream career, after so much anticipation.
I have lived all over Australia, including very rural and isolated places due to my mum being an Art Teacher.
I have met new relatives in 2013 after moving to Perth from Queensland Australia. I discovered I have lots of second and third cousins I never new of. I also met my Great Aunty for the first time.
Some highlights of my life so far:
I have made and left a trail of life long friends all over the country due to my family's gypsy habits.
I have many, many, many more stories/experiences to share. These however are the first ones that came to mind, therefore they must be the most valuable ones to share. However I have many more experiences I could tell you which will be worth your entertainment.
I will most definitely make a post after my 18th Celebrations! As I am sure I have some lovely presents coming my way and a surprise birthday cake my little sister is making for me. Not only that I will have the good company of family and good friends!
xx Molly
I am extremely overwhelmed! I will be 18 years old this coming Friday (1 week away exactly!)!
I am so astonished by how much I have already fit into my life even before reaching adulthood.
I have completed my secondary education and have begun developing my dream career, after so much anticipation.
I have lived all over Australia, including very rural and isolated places due to my mum being an Art Teacher.
I have met new relatives in 2013 after moving to Perth from Queensland Australia. I discovered I have lots of second and third cousins I never new of. I also met my Great Aunty for the first time.
Some highlights of my life so far:
- At 9-10 years old. I lives on an aboriginal community known as Wadeye or Port Keats. We were living in a town isolated from everywhere because of bush land, un-cemented roads (corrugated), waterways etc.
- I learnt many words of Murranpatha, the local Indigenous language. I had confrontations with wild salt water crocodiles! I experienced so much there, especially involving the bush life. I went tucker hunting with the locals, fishing, scavenging, swimming in water holes and a lot more!
- Another amazing experience; Once I was allowed by the pilot of our small plane, from Wadeye to Darwin City, to be seated in the cot pit with him! of course I didn't get to fly the plane but it was exciting to have a front view!
- In 2008 I became an Aunty for the first time on Christmas Day! A couple years following, I became an Aunty of two! :)
- I have studied through numerous Distance Education programs, I had my own classroom at home set up for me. In Rainbow Beach it was situated in the shed.
- I vividly remember when a 2 and a half meter Python slithered past the garage door. I rolled it down and stayed trapped inside until mum came out and luckily the Python had moved on.
- Our house here attracted many critters due to the fact our back yard directly entered the local national rainforest. These other critters include: Meter long Goannas, Bush Turkeys, Spiders and poisonous snakes. I remember being chased around the house too many times by Goannas because they wanted food.
- I went to North Keppel Island in Queensland for a School Camp when I was 13 years old. It was brilliant! I lived on this island in a cabin with other students for 5 days.
- Snorkelling, cannoning, plankton trawling, swimming mid deep in the bay between North Keppel and Yeppoon.
- Places I have lived include:
I have made and left a trail of life long friends all over the country due to my family's gypsy habits.
I have many, many, many more stories/experiences to share. These however are the first ones that came to mind, therefore they must be the most valuable ones to share. However I have many more experiences I could tell you which will be worth your entertainment.
I will most definitely make a post after my 18th Celebrations! As I am sure I have some lovely presents coming my way and a surprise birthday cake my little sister is making for me. Not only that I will have the good company of family and good friends!
xx Molly
Thursday, April 24, 2014
An update after many months...
Hello,
I have not been here in so long, I have had a very eventful past six months... I know its four months into the new year, almost five! Happy New Year!! Hehe.
So before I begin some new and more interesting posts to do with... living with Aspergers.
I certainly think I should give an update on what has been happening for me:
Please feel free to share your new years news too ! :)
~ Miss Molly x
I have not been here in so long, I have had a very eventful past six months... I know its four months into the new year, almost five! Happy New Year!! Hehe.
So before I begin some new and more interesting posts to do with... living with Aspergers.
I certainly think I should give an update on what has been happening for me:
- I got accepted at the beginning of this year... into my dream course... An Advance Diploma of Jewellery Design. Which goes for 3 years!
- I got awarded a scholarship which has significantly helped me with my course materials costs. Jewellery production... especially due to the use of precious metals... is very expensive.
- I met my long distance boyfriend for the first time in person this year! He is also an Aspie which is amazing, in the fact we relate and understand each other.
- I discovered I have a talent in drawing and I have kept up with my photography.
- I have developed independence... as far as... travelling with public transport, and using my initiative to get to any place I need or want to go. My mum explains how proud she is of me. :)
- I have made new friends and am finding my new adult education atmosphere a blessing. It is amazing how different it is to high school. It is so nice to be somewhere where people have mutual interests, ideas and hobbies.
- I turn 18 years old in 21 days! Can you believe I created... Miss Molly and Asperger's when I was 15!
Please feel free to share your new years news too ! :)
~ Miss Molly x
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
What It Is Like To Be Me - A Girl With Aspergers Syndrome
My goal for this post is to give you an insight on what it is like for a person to have Aspergers Syndrome.
Eye Contact:
Everyday I go out into the world feeling worried and fearful of situations where people will expect eye contact from me. I know I can't possibly possibly give it with absolute ease. Usually eye contact with me is awkward and they are left wondering why I can't look them in the eye.
It is impossible to tell everyone I have Aspergers. I am not going to tell every shop keeper or person I come across.
Bullying:
I have been bullied! By people younger then me, the same age as me, even much older then me, including adults.
I have grown to fear people talking negatively about me. As I have experienced this most of my life.
This is where Aspies are sometimes called 'paranoid', which I can be at times. When I hear people mentioning my name, I instantly think its something bad about me.
This is a result of the many times at school I had walked in on my peers speaking badly about me.
Friendship:
I need absoulute acceptance when it comes to friendship making and socializing which is so hard to find. Most of the time peers do not look beyond my Aspergers (they see its negatives, not its positives) to see my good qualities (In a few posts I have outlined what my qualities are and I think you can agree, they are the most things you want in a friend).
I struggle very much to make friends, and I struggle even harder to keep them. I cannot count how many times my heart has been broken from as loss of a friendship.
Obviously:
I often say very obvious things. A little known fact: Aspies like me need to release our thoughts. It is part of they way we process situations and our surroundings. Many people find this annoying though. Which is frustrating as we try very hard to contain our thoughts.
Literally:
One of the most common traits of Aspergers is being literal. For me this means I do not understand double meanings (I have learnt some but I have to think about them). It means I am easy to fool. This is where I have been the subject of many pranks. Because of this trait I often feel dumb or stupid.
In the past I have come home and cried for hours from a hard day at school of being pranked. Because no matter how hard I try, I know I cannot be what you call 'street smart' and socialize easily like other people my age do.
School Work:
With school work, I am confident and I know when I have the chance to concentrate fully I can do amazing work. Maths is my strongest subject which I actually enjoy doing.
However in the school environment I can fail easily. Not because I lack intelligence, but because of distractions. As well as having not been given enough time to complete my work to the best of my ability.
With my school work I use a lot of detail. Many times I have written a thousand words over the word limit.
As my mum has said often to my teachers; I produce less work, but the work I produce is of highest quality. This is in comparison to the average neurotypical students who produces lots of work of average standard.
Hobbies/Interests:
As an aspie girl I have a few hobbies. It is well known because of Aspies large attention span when it comes to things they like. We can be found in a corner at ten o'clock in the morning and found in the same place hours after dark when we are focusing on something that interests us.
Aspies can be shining stars when it comes to an interest.
This is hugely evident in the way Bill Gates (a fellow Aspie) became so successful with his computer programs.
Personally, I like to photograph and make jewellery and I never fail to have amazing comments and compliments given to me.
Unaccepting People:
I deal with many people who are intolerant of me.
I am always left feeling like I am annoying them when I am simply being me and carrying out my tasks. It actually affects me deeply to be called annoying. I'm sure it affects other Aspies too.
I am excluded constantly, because people feel its easier to socialize with my other family members or friends who are non-aspies. Rather then myself.
Psychiatrists/Psychologists:
Having been officially diagnosed with Aspergers at 9 years old. Before and after then I have meet many many psychologists and doctors with so many different opinions; from OCD to just saying I am painfully shy. I would say I have seen at least 10 different psychologists and psychiatrists in my life time and I know many of you would have similar experiences.
This has caused my family and I a lot of grief. An example of this is they have treated me for OCD, which did not work and only caused meltdowns.
Many times I have felt hopeless, because of the psychiatrists inflexible thinking, they refuse to see the way my mum and I see it. They always have to be more right then the previous psychiatrists.
I have just giving you a number of my experiences with having Aspergers. This is what I have to deal with everyday and other Aspies too.
~Molly xo
Saturday, September 7, 2013
When an Aspie is made to feel Annoying
As an Aspergers girl I have experienced many times over, the feeling of being a nuisance because of my actions and responses which are not considered normal social behavior.
The worst thing for an Aspie to experience is when a person struggles to understand us and our behaviour.
The person instead of learning why we are different, they excluded us and treat us like a nuisance.
It is uttermost heartbreaking for the Aspie to feel like they annoy everyone.
Yet many do not see how deeply it affects the Aspie. Many Aspies end up experiencing depression because of this. I often think how can I change so people like me and not think I am annoying? But at the end of the day you can't help but be yourself especially if you have Aspergers.
I have a younger sister who is very capable at normal social behaviour. A person often finds it easier to interact and socialize with her rather then myself.
Then the cycle begins, I am left excluded and they continue to enjoy each others company while I am made to occupy myself.
What can you do differently when you meet an Aspie (how you can make them feel understood):
1. Accept them as they are
2. Tolerate them (they can't help the way they are, just as you can't help but be the person you are!)
3. Treat them the way you treat everyone else
4. Include them (don't exclude them)
5. Return their efforts to be friendly.
We want to make friends just like everyone.
Take note of this quote: don't criticize what you don't understand.
~ Molly xo
~ Molly xo
Monday, September 2, 2013
I am back! Recently moved to Perth, WA! New Topic: Social Anxiety
Hello everyone!
Leaving behind my pets (how it affects an Aspie):
My new schooling:
My developed Social Anxiety:
This is my own anxiety; stemmed from self doubt, fear of rejection and being misunderstood.
One of the best things you can do for me and other people with Aspergers and Social Anxiety is to expect no eye contact from us. Accept it if we look away while you talk to us. We greatly appreciate it when people do this for us.
A big thank you!
I am extremely sorry I have not been around for awhile now!
As the title suggests I am now living in Perth, Western Australia. After leaving Queensland for good in July.
I have so much to share with you all! But I want to keep this post simple, because myself the queen of detailing could easily write forever! Haha! (An Aspergers trait)
I now live in a lovely suburb just outside of Perth! I have a beautiful new home! There will be pictures to come!
Leaving behind my pets (how it affects an Aspie):
I had to leave two of my cats behind in Queensland. For a person with Aspergers it is very heartbreaking. I know it is hard enough for a neurotypical person.
People with Aspergers very commonly grow attachments to their pets. This is because our pets are really sometimes the only ones who listen to us. They never judge us.
We feel accepted by them and we are not required to explain our behaviors to them.
We feel accepted by them and we are not required to explain our behaviors to them.
My new schooling:
As for schooling I am now doing Distance TAFE. A certificate which will grant me year 12 equivalency and access to further learning and career choices.
I am quite happy with this arrangement as it gives me a nice break from the pressure to socially interact everyday with people I am not use to.
My developed Social Anxiety:
That brings me to another subject!
My social anxiety has become extremely prevalent and increasing worse over the past few months!
Social anxiety usually comes in hand with Aspergers.
This is because we begin to doubt ourselves as we grow older into our teenage years and adulthood. We become more aware of how our actions are being received by other people around us.
This is because we begin to doubt ourselves as we grow older into our teenage years and adulthood. We become more aware of how our actions are being received by other people around us.
I am now finding it increasingly difficult to look people in the eye. When I become within a close distance to people I don't know I become anixous. This is causes my facial muscles to tighen making it hard for me to smile.
I would like to know if you experience this and can relate?
I would also like to make those aware who meet me that this fear and anxiety I have (even around people close to me) is nothing personally to do with you!
This is my own anxiety; stemmed from self doubt, fear of rejection and being misunderstood.
One of the best things you can do for me and other people with Aspergers and Social Anxiety is to expect no eye contact from us. Accept it if we look away while you talk to us. We greatly appreciate it when people do this for us.
A big thank you!
I must thank you all for supporting me through the last two years! I began Miss Molly and Aspergers at 15 years old and I have grown and developed so much since. I am sure this is evident to you.
Again I am really sorry I have not kept update with blogging. However now I can make the effort to. I have moved away from the difficulties I had in Queensland.
Again I am really sorry I have not kept update with blogging. However now I can make the effort to. I have moved away from the difficulties I had in Queensland.
So now I am starting a fresh new life which is certain to bring you all very brand new perspective to my daily life living with Aspergers.
~ Molly xo
P.S Oops this post did not end up very simple. Hehe. :)
P.S Oops this post did not end up very simple. Hehe. :)
Want to see what I have been up to?
Below are my links to my hobby pages on Facebook:
My photography: https://www.facebook.com/MissMollysPhotography?ref=hl
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| Fremantle Harbour, Western Australia |
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
My Recent Thoughts - Maybe You Can Relate?
Today I feel alone. My only true friend is not here at school today. So I have taken this opportunity to write about how Aspies can feel alone while surrounded by people.
Having Aspergers makes it difficult for us to develop socially. It's hard for us to make friends, and it's rare (particularly in my case) to find someone I truly click with and have them accept me and tolerate my differences.
Our differences aren't a bad thing, they make us who we are. But many cannot tolerate the way we are. Our awkwardness in conversations, our lack of or too much eye contact, our shyness, literalness and sometimes inappropriate responses in conversations.
My particular issue is I ask too many questions; clarifying, I'm always trying to prevent making mistakes (particularly in the work environment). I don't like to make mistakes.
By asking and clarifying I feel I'm making a mistake in its self and I worry about how people feel about my excessive question asking. This is something I can't really help especially because the people around me are so critical of me when I do make a mistake.
I do make an effort to talk and be friendly, but it just seems too hard to try and establish new friendships. I retreat and find it easier to sit on my own and do my own thing (When I don't have my best friend with me).
Today's blog post is just about my recent thoughts to let you all know how I'm feeling at this moment. I can summaries this in one sentence: I feel alone in an environment of people who cannot tolerate me.
Can you relate?
Having Aspergers makes it difficult for us to develop socially. It's hard for us to make friends, and it's rare (particularly in my case) to find someone I truly click with and have them accept me and tolerate my differences.
Our differences aren't a bad thing, they make us who we are. But many cannot tolerate the way we are. Our awkwardness in conversations, our lack of or too much eye contact, our shyness, literalness and sometimes inappropriate responses in conversations.
My particular issue is I ask too many questions; clarifying, I'm always trying to prevent making mistakes (particularly in the work environment). I don't like to make mistakes.
By asking and clarifying I feel I'm making a mistake in its self and I worry about how people feel about my excessive question asking. This is something I can't really help especially because the people around me are so critical of me when I do make a mistake.
I do make an effort to talk and be friendly, but it just seems too hard to try and establish new friendships. I retreat and find it easier to sit on my own and do my own thing (When I don't have my best friend with me).
Today's blog post is just about my recent thoughts to let you all know how I'm feeling at this moment. I can summaries this in one sentence: I feel alone in an environment of people who cannot tolerate me.
Can you relate?
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Most Common Cause Aspie's are Bullied
A majority of teens and children with Aspergers can be accurately described as being socially naive, meaning that they are not street smart and they are unquestioning of peers. This naivety and their great need to belong often leaves Aspies open to being set up or manipulated by peers.
Aspies are often targeted and manipulated by bullies. They are susceptible to pranks and easy to fool. This leaves them open to being misled and forced into situations where they may exhibit reactions and or emotions uncharacteristic of neurotypical people.
"Aspies have limited social understanding, they do not recognize social meaning, context, cues and consequences." (Tony Attwoods, 2008)
The targeted Aspie is left feeling humiliated and wounded when the social consequences set in.
Adults or peers who were not witness to the situation take for granted the Aspie’s ability to negotiate social situations.
Can you relate?
~ Molly xo
Aspies are often targeted and manipulated by bullies. They are susceptible to pranks and easy to fool. This leaves them open to being misled and forced into situations where they may exhibit reactions and or emotions uncharacteristic of neurotypical people.
"Aspies have limited social understanding, they do not recognize social meaning, context, cues and consequences." (Tony Attwoods, 2008)
The targeted Aspie is left feeling humiliated and wounded when the social consequences set in.
Adults or peers who were not witness to the situation take for granted the Aspie’s ability to negotiate social situations.
Can you relate?
~ Molly xo
Thursday, November 22, 2012
An insight of the inside of Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers
Today I want to share you how experiencing Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers feels and why you cannot be sure if someone is really okay.
Life is like being under a cloud. Most days it will float above, up in the sky.
It may turn black and threaten a storm but it does nothing. It builds up, getting bigger and bigger. Then one day all the build up will turn into a big raining thunderstorm that will go on for days or even weeks. That is when it will flood and life becomes a big muddy mess! You're stuck and you don't know when you will be free again.
You get along with life, however you come upon everyday struggles. You do not show it but some of them deeply affect you on the inside. This is the cloud building up. You get on with life, with the cloud hanging over you.
Everyday the cloud gradually builds up with your stress and tension.
Then one day the storm hits! You feel you can no longer keep it inside. Your tension and stress is shared among those close to you. You break down, you cry. You feel miserable, anxious, worried and cannot relax no matter how hard you try. As long as the storm carries on you show emotion to how you are feeling. You want the storm to pass but it persists.
Most people come out of the storm eventually. Then it will begin to build up again until the next storm.
People with Anxiety, Depression and Aspergers; their storms are more frequent because we build up much more frequently.
We find stress in more things. Simple things people usually brush off, we add to our cloud. Because to us, we feel it's negativity intensely.
This happens especially when you face not seeing any positives to life (Depression). When you get bullied for who you are and people do not understand you. Even when you try to teach them, they refuse to understand (Aspergers). When you feel anxious every hour of everyday, every little stress or doubt is trigger (Anxiety).
It is hard for other people to understand why we feel like this. This is because most of the time we do not show or share our storms (exception to family because they are living and dealing with the person). Mostly we feel no one will understand and it is so hard to explain how we are feeling on the inside. The rain and the thunder is released in our own time. Away from where we can be put to shame. Yet this adds to the effect of the storm because we desperately want people to understand.
You need to know:
Just because someone shows no emotion or change in emotion to how they are being treated. The stress they are being caused, or something big that's happened in their life. Does not mean they are 'okay' and they are 'dealing' with it. It means we are afraid you won't understand.
- Molly <3 xo
Life is like being under a cloud. Most days it will float above, up in the sky.
It may turn black and threaten a storm but it does nothing. It builds up, getting bigger and bigger. Then one day all the build up will turn into a big raining thunderstorm that will go on for days or even weeks. That is when it will flood and life becomes a big muddy mess! You're stuck and you don't know when you will be free again.
You get along with life, however you come upon everyday struggles. You do not show it but some of them deeply affect you on the inside. This is the cloud building up. You get on with life, with the cloud hanging over you.
Everyday the cloud gradually builds up with your stress and tension.
Then one day the storm hits! You feel you can no longer keep it inside. Your tension and stress is shared among those close to you. You break down, you cry. You feel miserable, anxious, worried and cannot relax no matter how hard you try. As long as the storm carries on you show emotion to how you are feeling. You want the storm to pass but it persists.
Most people come out of the storm eventually. Then it will begin to build up again until the next storm.
People with Anxiety, Depression and Aspergers; their storms are more frequent because we build up much more frequently.
We find stress in more things. Simple things people usually brush off, we add to our cloud. Because to us, we feel it's negativity intensely.
This happens especially when you face not seeing any positives to life (Depression). When you get bullied for who you are and people do not understand you. Even when you try to teach them, they refuse to understand (Aspergers). When you feel anxious every hour of everyday, every little stress or doubt is trigger (Anxiety).
It is hard for other people to understand why we feel like this. This is because most of the time we do not show or share our storms (exception to family because they are living and dealing with the person). Mostly we feel no one will understand and it is so hard to explain how we are feeling on the inside. The rain and the thunder is released in our own time. Away from where we can be put to shame. Yet this adds to the effect of the storm because we desperately want people to understand.
You need to know:
Just because someone shows no emotion or change in emotion to how they are being treated. The stress they are being caused, or something big that's happened in their life. Does not mean they are 'okay' and they are 'dealing' with it. It means we are afraid you won't understand.
- Molly <3 xo
Friday, August 3, 2012
The Mental Health System
Last week my mum contacted Mental Health here to see if I could go back. I was dissmissed from seeing a physiatrist there after they assumed I didn't need anymore help and because I was too old to be seen.
That was last year. I have faced apon new struggles. I have been hit with Depression again after sometime and my anxiety is unbearable.
I am struggling to see positives, all I do is dwell on the negatives. I have lost all interest in my hobbies that entertained and kept me happy.
It is very common for children and adults on the Autism Spectrum to have low serotonin levels in their brain. Therefore mum and I think I should have my medication reviewed and have alternative Antidepressants introduced.
The medication I am taking is: 20mg Lexapro (Maximum dosage) and 1.5mg of Rispirodol.
I feel the Lexapro is doing nothing at all. I was previously taking 10mg.
That is the biggest thing that ticks me off! After all the issues and troubles I explained to the lady on the phone last week. he thinks its fine!? He hasn't even met me, how would he know!
That brings me back to an experience last year.
I was seen by a physiatrist for a medication review and he refused to change anything, because in the first five minutes he met me, he observed, that I was simply, just painfully shy!
I am very disappointed because I feel like the system doesn't care. they are suppose to help people, not shoo them away when they defiantly need help!
I am seeing a psychologist however through a private practice. This lady I see has no control over my medication. She costs over $150 a session which it is hard for my mum to afford. Therefore I can only see her every 2-3 weeks. There also is limited amount of sessions you can have with her a year. About 10-12.
Please share your stories.
~ Molly xo
That was last year. I have faced apon new struggles. I have been hit with Depression again after sometime and my anxiety is unbearable.
I am struggling to see positives, all I do is dwell on the negatives. I have lost all interest in my hobbies that entertained and kept me happy.
It is very common for children and adults on the Autism Spectrum to have low serotonin levels in their brain. Therefore mum and I think I should have my medication reviewed and have alternative Antidepressants introduced.
The medication I am taking is: 20mg Lexapro (Maximum dosage) and 1.5mg of Rispirodol.
I feel the Lexapro is doing nothing at all. I was previously taking 10mg.
2 years ago it was increased to 20mg. It is unsafe to increase it passed the maximum dosage requirement. Its time I had it changed.
Mum recieved a phone call yesterday from the head of Mental Health after my issues were taken to the board to be assessed. He simply said. The medications fine. Its appropiate. There is no need for us to see Molly.
Mum recieved a phone call yesterday from the head of Mental Health after my issues were taken to the board to be assessed. He simply said. The medications fine. Its appropiate. There is no need for us to see Molly.
That is the biggest thing that ticks me off! After all the issues and troubles I explained to the lady on the phone last week. he thinks its fine!? He hasn't even met me, how would he know!
That brings me back to an experience last year.
I was seen by a physiatrist for a medication review and he refused to change anything, because in the first five minutes he met me, he observed, that I was simply, just painfully shy!
I am very disappointed because I feel like the system doesn't care. they are suppose to help people, not shoo them away when they defiantly need help!
I am seeing a psychologist however through a private practice. This lady I see has no control over my medication. She costs over $150 a session which it is hard for my mum to afford. Therefore I can only see her every 2-3 weeks. There also is limited amount of sessions you can have with her a year. About 10-12.
Please share your stories.
~ Molly xo
Friday, May 25, 2012
Introduction - Aspergers Me
My name is Molly.
For as long as I can remember I have always been different. I have had a battle with fitting in for my whole life.
My family and I have moved around so much.
I got bullied at every primary school I went to, because they didn't understand me.
In 2008 I left mainstream school. I began homeschooling through distance education.
I really gave my mum some hell. However we pushed through the struggles and I managed to completed year 10 of high school.
I am now in year 11. I have made an integration into TAFE to complete my last two years of high school.
Somehow I changed through my duration of Distance Education.
I taught myself 'the think before you act' rule. I use to be a crazy kid. Now I have turned myself into this quiet, shy, mature person. This however only applies around people who are not my family, lol.
I am a teenage girl with Aspergers Syndrome.
Aspergers is an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
I now realise I made a mistake. I never told anyone in primary school I had Aspergers.
I was always concerned when my mum mentioned it to someone.
Maybe if I said something then they would know why I behaved that way.
However I was young and so were and they. They would not have really known what Aspergers was, nor did I really.
People with Aspergers (Not all these traits will apply to every Aspie):
I have created this blog with intention to help other people and teenagers with Aspergers like me. I want you to know there are more people out there then you know.
I understand what it is like to:
I have so much more to share, but for now this will be my introduction. Please follow and feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear from you! :)
For as long as I can remember I have always been different. I have had a battle with fitting in for my whole life.
My family and I have moved around so much.
I have been to so many schools and every time I went to begin a new school.
I would say to myself;
"this is a fresh start Molly. If you you change the way you act. Think before you do or say anything. You will be accepted. You will make friends at this new school".This never worked. I always spoke what I thought. I didn't know then. This was something you were not suppose to do.
I got bullied at every primary school I went to, because they didn't understand me.
In 2008 I left mainstream school. I began homeschooling through distance education.
I really gave my mum some hell. However we pushed through the struggles and I managed to completed year 10 of high school.
I am now in year 11. I have made an integration into TAFE to complete my last two years of high school.
Somehow I changed through my duration of Distance Education.
I taught myself 'the think before you act' rule. I use to be a crazy kid. Now I have turned myself into this quiet, shy, mature person. This however only applies around people who are not my family, lol.
I am a teenage girl with Aspergers Syndrome.
Aspergers is an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
I now realise I made a mistake. I never told anyone in primary school I had Aspergers.
I was always concerned when my mum mentioned it to someone.
Maybe if I said something then they would know why I behaved that way.
However I was young and so were and they. They would not have really known what Aspergers was, nor did I really.
People with Aspergers (Not all these traits will apply to every Aspie):
- Can be hypersensitive: ie; sensitive to loud noises, can get emotional easily
- Find it hard to make and keep friends
- Find it hard to hold and keep eye contact, read and understand facial expressions and body language.
- Have an absence feeling of empathy or a prevalence of too much empathy. (Certain triggers set of our empathy. For example when I found an old picture of my cat. I never grieved until then. I broke down and cried for days when I found this)
- Do not get hints and social cues.
- Can have great intellectual capabilities
- Have good memories and ability to retain knowledge
- Can be very literal; such as with jokes and pranks
- Develop special interests which Aspies have great ability to have a full focus of. (Aspies can be very successful because of this capability because of their obsessiveness over one hobby/interest).
- Begin speaking at early age or usual age (Unlike Autism as Autistic children usually beginning speaking at a later age).
- Can have rigid and inflexible thinking: Can not get Aspie to change their idea or thoughts on a situation.
I have created this blog with intention to help other people and teenagers with Aspergers like me. I want you to know there are more people out there then you know.
I understand what it is like to:
- Not be accepted or understood by your peers
- Be made fun of and bullied because you see things differently to others
- Feel like you have a label which will be with you all your life (You need to bring it up as an excuse for the way you may have behaved in a situation).
- Feel like you have to do things a certain way no matter how silly it appears to others.
- Be pushed around from one psychologist to another, a never ending battle to find stability in the Mental Heath System.
- Feel embarrassed after meltdowns which you feel like you can not control them.
- Feel frustrated when you cannot get people to understand how you see a situation
I have so much more to share, but for now this will be my introduction. Please follow and feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear from you! :)
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