Chapter 2 of Miss Molly & Aspergers: Womanhood as a Women on The Autism Spectrum

Hello,
I recently have been contemplating writing a new post here on Miss Molly and Aspergers, yet I have not known or have come to know what to write about. I have asked myself many questions; is this blog still relevant or going to continue to relate to the Autism world and upon asking myself this question I got my answer. of course! I do not want to scare those of you who are still in your teen years, however I am not going to lie, there is a whole other ball game with Autism in Adulthood and Adulthood itself.

I have been gifted upon graduating into the Adulthood a bigger pond to swim in. Below I am going to list the positives and the not so positive and those not so positive points I am going to be using Miss Molly and Asperger's to write for you; my hindsight, experiences and development as a young woman and adult on the Autism Spectrum. I hope to give you some skills to have ready in your kit which can help ease your transition.
P.s Even if you are not on the Autism Spectrum as any young adult or even older adult, if any of my advice is relevant or helpful to you are more then welcome here! So please don't be shy to subscribe!

Independence/Freedom:                                                                                             
Responsibilities/ Library fines - Its on you!

More people/places/options to make friends:                      
More opportunities to be taken advantage of (A sad but true fact and there is no need to be discouraged! There are plenty of kind hearted people out there too. I have a few solid people in my tribe and I wouldn't have found them or been certain of their true natures if I had not have met and been involved with some of the crueler people in this world - you just can't trust everyone and us Aspies are naturally very trusting... more on that to come!)

Live in your own place:
Solely up to you to keep that roof over your head 

Choose when and where to study:
Need to motivate yourself (now you don't have a parent telling you to get out of bed to go to uni anymore)

Can date whoever you like:
The only boundaries in place are your own - so if they are a jerk you haven't got your parent to back you up on why they cant come around anymore.

You can choose whatever you like to spend your money on:                                        
Just remember Rent, Food, Bills come first! You might make a few mistakes here I'm still learning trust me you can't eat that brand new handbag! 

Its up to you when and (IF) you do housework!         
"The house is gross and I swear the clothes in the pile are coming from a vortex because I don't think I even wore those - I might just wear them as they look unworn and I have nothing clean! I can't eat because there is nothing in the whole house which is clean to eat off... oh wait maybe the ice cream container lid under the sink will work for a plate!"

You can stay up as late as you like!                
If you thought meeting Lisa for coffee to work on that assignment the following morning you might be greeting her already having had 3 coffees or you don't show up at all!

Your dog or cat gets sick?                                 
The Vet isn't going to ask for your parents credit card.

You can eat whatever you like for dinner!                   
Be careful here as you may or may not get malnourished or develop a dairy intolerance from only eating a pint of Connoisseur a day with a protein bar now and then for lunch or end up crying over how much Uber Eats made out of you plus five kilograms.

That is all I have for tonight because if I'm not careful I'm gonna struggle getting up to in fact meet my best friend for coffee at teen am haha! 

I hope I haven't scared you, you don't need to be and I don't want you to avoid making similar mistakes because if I didn't make these I wouldn't have learnt from them or be able to give you this post and help you along the way.

Thank you so much for stopping in, speak again soon,

Love Molly

Common Aspergers & ASD Traits

Hi All!

I have been thinking it would be a good idea to refresh people of the traits of Asperger’s and what being an Aspie entails. It has been awhile since I have made a post on the overall aspects of Asperger’s, so I feel a refreshment is in order!

What it means to have Asperger’s/ Common Aspie Traits: (these traits are often disputed in different orders and combinations (no one Aspie will share all of the same traits)

1 . Lack of or too much eye contact.

2. Talks a lot about their interests, loves to share!

3. Has obsessive interests that are a huge part of their life and career aspirations. (I.e. If an Aspie is into computer programming, they will most likely aim to achieve their highest in this area. Thus, making it their career field).

4. Has an extremely good long term memory and a not so good short term memory. This includes things which are of great interest to an Aspie’s mind or caused a significant emotional effect such as bullying experiences. We can remember even the smallest of those details such as the person’s name, despite having experienced this in grade 1. The same applies for vice versa, such as a person who contributed an amazing and gratifying effect on our lives or were an extremely compassionate person that one would be immensely appreciative of encountering. These memories are likely to stick to our mind, being permanently glued to our subconscious and will unlikely be forgotten.

Our short term memory however, is compromised at times. Normally because of ideas and thoughts pertaining to an interest or desire. Therefore, anything that’s not interesting to us at the time will go in one ear and out the other whilst other ideas are playing on our mind.

5. Different sense of humor (can find the strangest of things amusing or funny)

6. Has sensory issues to do with a heighten sense of sound, touch ,feel, taste, and sight.

7. Can have trouble communicating their needs or intentions (a common occurrence is being misinterpreted by other people. Also misinterpreting ourselves, the intentions of others, and their motives.

8. Delayed responsiveness in situations (has a longer processing time)

9. Coordination issues can be common too.

10. An intense need of routine and familiarity. One often becomes distressed when changes are made or are unexpected. As we grow older we can learn to adjust to changes. Compared to NT’s who adjust drastically, Aspie’s tend to require more time to gradually develop the ability to adjust and cope with change. (stepping stones, rather than a large meteorite)

Well, that's a few pointers for now. Thank you for reading as usual! Have a nice weekend!
- Miss Molly x

Importance of a Comfortable and Organised Environment

Hello !
Today I want to share with you the importance it is for me personally to have an orderly and pleasant environment to live, work and relax in.
Today after many months of having the same room arrangement, it began to clutter and accumulate dust under and behind furniture, as well the general system of my room beginning to slack. I also feel making a change like this is a good way of welcoming in new good and positive opportunities (mood, life, productivity, etc). As having the same room arrangement through troubled times and/or depressive periods. It generally keeps and preserves that negative mood set for me. So in order to change that mood set, I changed my room, the soul environment I wake up in and go to sleep at night. I feel so uplifted, motivated, relaxed and happy with my new space now.

Today I changed my room completely around and cleaned it up.
I cannot sleep or work in an environment that is not kept.
As well as the importance of cleanliness and organisation. I like to make my room my own special space and retreat to enjoy. Candles, ornaments, soft blankets, cute containers, pictures, posters, incense, and my fashion and stationary items kept neatly and niceness are what make an enjoyable space for me.

Aspies either thrive in an orderly environment or need not attend to keep an orderly environment at all to feel comfortable in.

However this is my preference and organisation is the best way for me to stay motivated and relaxed.

Here are the pictures of the finished result! Including my new water fountain (relaxation purposes), dream catcher, candles and my new jewellery storage cupboard :)
You can also see my feature wall of my 'works'. Including my Drawings and Photography and Digital Productions.

I would love to know whether you 'require your environment to be clean and pleasant" or 'you don't mind it to be not kept'

Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Bye for now,

x Miss Molly

Dealing with Close-Minded and Unaccepting People

If you have Aspergers or support someone with Aspergers it is highly likely you have met or come across people who not only misunderstand you and Aspergers. They refuse to learn how they can understand!

As I have said many times:
You can give and provide them the information as much as you like. People are not going to read it unless they want to.
Close minded people do not change their way of thinking once they believe something.
So if they think people with Aspergers are weird, not normal or they find your differences annoying. They are going to continue to believe this no matter how much information you provide. 
We now know these people are not going to change (just like we can't change who we are).
Now this is where we need to learn how to deal and cope with these people.

The most common places you will find close minded people are:
Through social networks, such as:

• School

• In your family

• Workplace

• Family friends

• Friends of friends

• Online: such as Facebook, twitter, forums, etc.

What are the signs a person is close-minded, intolerant and misunderstanding?

• They do not tolerate your behaviours, such as common things you do and say.

• They ignore you or get easily distracted when you are explaining Aspergers to them.

• They continue to be mean and tease you for your behaviours, even after they have been told of why you are doing things in certain ways.

• They get easily irritated and annoyed by you.

• They ignore you and exclude you from social situations and events.

• They confine to people who dislike you and your behaviours.

• They find reasons to put you down all the time.

• They gossip and complain to other people all the time about you and your differences.

How do we deal with these people? 

•  Remember you cannot change them.

•  Accept you can not change them.

•  Remember they can only effect you if you let them! 

•  Brush off when they tease you or complain about you.

•  Know that if that is how they treat you, you're better off not being their friend anyways! 

• Do not change the way you are or how you do things because they want you to! In society everyone needs to learn to tolerate each other. Therefore you do not have to change because someone is intolerant of you! 

• Continuing to be the nice person you are despite how rude they are to you. This shows that you are a better person! The good people will see this and their true colours. However with this tip; if they are doing something that crosses the line to the point they are taking advanatage of your niceness and maturity. Do not hesitate to stand up for yourself, or involve someone who can help you! 

• Remember just because they say something hurtful or degrading about you, does not make it true! When people say mean things it is because they do not understand. (Such as saying, werid, crazy, unnormal, etc.)

• Remember even if they don't have Aspergers they have habits and things they do that need tolerating! Therefore they have no right to not tolerate the things you do!

• Keep smiling! Nothing gets up their nose more then seeing they don't affect you!

•  Surround yourself with people who are open-minded, accepting and tolerant. These people see the beauty in your differences unlike the close-minded people.

•  If they have made a mean statement or comment about you or Aspergers; remember they are close minded people for a reason! (They don't change their way of thinking) So do not comment back trying to prove them otherwise! They will only come back with more aggravation! I know it is hard when you see someone saying nasty things, but the best thing to do is to ignore it! By doing this you are showing you are the bigger person and avoiding the person getting nastier.

I hope I have helped you all! I have found this has helped myself tremendously having all these tips written out!  Remember you are a great person! Your are amazing and there is nothing wrong with you no matter what anyone says! Your differences are beautiful! They make you the very person you are!

Bye for now,
Love Molly xo

I am back! Recently moved to Perth, WA! New Topic: Social Anxiety

Hello everyone!

I am extremely sorry I have not been around for awhile now!

As the title suggests I am now living in Perth, Western Australia. After leaving Queensland for good in July.

I have so much to share with you all! But I want to keep this post simple, because myself the queen of detailing could easily write forever! Haha! (An Aspergers trait)

I now live in a lovely suburb just outside of Perth! I have a beautiful new home! There will be pictures to come!

Leaving behind my pets (how it affects an Aspie):

I had to leave two of my cats behind in Queensland. For a person with Aspergers it is very heartbreaking. I know it is hard enough for a neurotypical person. 

People with Aspergers very commonly grow attachments to their pets. This is because our pets are really sometimes the only ones who listen to us. They never judge us.
We feel accepted by them and we are not required to explain our behaviors to them.

My new schooling:

As for schooling I am now doing Distance TAFE. A certificate which will grant me year 12 equivalency and access to further learning and career choices.

I am quite happy with this arrangement as it gives me a nice break from the pressure to socially interact everyday with people I am not use to.

My developed Social Anxiety:

That brings me to another subject!

My social anxiety has become extremely prevalent and increasing worse over the past few months!

Social anxiety usually comes in hand with Aspergers.
This is because we begin to doubt ourselves as we grow older into our teenage years and adulthood. We become more aware of how our actions are being received by other people around us.

I am now finding it increasingly difficult to look people in the eye. When I become within a close distance to people I don't know I become anixous. This is causes my facial muscles to tighen making it hard for me to smile. 

I would like to know if you experience this and can relate?

I would also like to make those aware who meet me that this fear and anxiety I have (even around people close to me) is nothing personally to do with you! 

This is my own anxiety; stemmed from self doubt, fear of rejection and being misunderstood.
One of the best things you can do for me and other people with Aspergers and Social Anxiety is to expect no eye contact from us. Accept it if we look away while you talk to us. We greatly appreciate it when people do this for us.

A big thank you!

I must thank you all for supporting me through the last two years! I began Miss Molly and Aspergers at 15 years old and I have grown and developed so much since. I am sure this is evident to you.

Again I am really sorry I have not kept update with blogging. However now I can make the effort to. I have moved away from the difficulties I had in Queensland.

So now I am starting a fresh new life which is certain to bring you all very brand new perspective to my daily life living with Aspergers.

~ Molly xo

P.S Oops this post did not end up very simple. Hehe. :)

Want to see what I have been up to?

Below are my links to my hobby pages on Facebook:

My photography: https://www.facebook.com/MissMollysPhotography?ref=hl

My collages: https://www.facebook.com/MissMollysCreativeCollages?ref=hl

My jewellery: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beauté-Beads/194550177221673?ref=hl

Fremantle Harbour, Western Australia

Its a Personality Type!

Hello again.
I thought this would be a good opportunity to tell you a bit about who I am and my differences.

I believe Aspergers is a personality type. Yes it can affect you with your daily life. This is why its been labelled a condition/disability. However in many cases Aspergers isn't a condition or disability. Aspergers is just who we are and how we are with other people.

My Asperger's/Personality traits:
- I am very literal, I take things as I hear them and I always react before I think.
- I have anxiety when it comes to new people . I can be awkward and shy.
- Because of my little success with making friends I can worry about what I've done and said (more anxiety).
- I am pretty good at school, I can fully focus on one thing at a time.
- I get very comfortable around people I've known along time. My weird and quirky sense of humor and chatterbox traits sets in. In other words I trust them and can come out with my feelings and thoughts openly. However sometimes I do this too much (this is where I need friends who are accepting and understanding).
- I give little eye contact. When I do, I have trouble judging when its time to break from the eye contact. Therefore I either stare too much or not enough.

My traits provide me with a fun, crazy, quirky personality! I am trustworthy, understanding, tolerant, accepting, caring. I appreciative all those who love and support me. I stay true to those who stay true to me.

These are the most important things to understand about me! However I cannot explain this to all the new people I meet. It takes people who are willing to understand and learn to come here and read my blog.

- Molly xo