My Recent Thoughts - Maybe You Can Relate?

Today I feel alone. My only true friend is not here at school today. So I have taken this opportunity to write about how Aspies can feel alone while surrounded by people.

Having Aspergers makes it difficult for us to develop socially. It's hard for us to make friends, and it's rare (particularly in my case) to find someone I truly click with and have them accept me and tolerate my differences.

Our differences aren't a bad thing, they make us who we are. But many cannot tolerate the way we are. Our awkwardness in conversations, our lack of or too much eye contact, our shyness, literalness and sometimes inappropriate responses in conversations.

My particular issue is I ask too many questions; clarifying, I'm always trying to prevent making mistakes (particularly in the work environment). I don't like to make mistakes.

By asking and clarifying I feel I'm making a mistake in its self and I worry about how people feel about my excessive question asking. This is something I can't really help especially because the people around me are so critical of me when I do make a mistake.

I do make an effort to talk and be friendly, but it just seems too hard to try and establish new friendships. I retreat and find it easier to sit on my own and do my own thing (When I don't have my best friend with me).

Today's blog post is just about my recent thoughts to let you all know how I'm feeling at this moment. I can summaries this in one sentence: I feel alone in an environment of people who cannot tolerate me.

Can you relate?

Avoiding Confussion

 Aspie: A person who has Aspergers

As an Aspie I find it difficult in many daily situations; To interpret and follow simply instructions.
I often find myself asking questions to clarify what it is I am meant to be doing, but people get annoyed because I clarify too often. It is important you know I am not trying to be annoying I am just trying to understand.

Here is an example:

An Aspergers boy is asked simply to clear the table.
He would then follow your instructions and clear everything off the table. This including unfinished meals and drinks. In the eyes of the nerotypical person he is considered silly or stupid. However if he had asked before clearing the table: "Do I leave their drinks, what if people are still eating?"
He would also be considered silly, stupid or annoying for asking these questions rarely asked by neurotypical people. He may also be accused of not listening to instructions.

Aspies understand the words you say (What we hear directly). Not the meaning behind what you say. Especially sarcasm, jokes and when you tell us things that are not genuine.

Most Apies believe what they hear. We are not given enough time to think about the other properties and meanings of the words spoken, the majority of neurotypical people wouldn’t need this time because in my words: they just get it.
I find that I react before I have the time to think about what has been said, and I’ve done this for so long now it’s a habit. The influence of this is that I am afraid to stand there thinking because if I were to do this I would find myself thoroughly thinking it through as we do (we are not satisfied until we’ve looked at it from all angles).
This is when someone waves a hand in front of me to see if I am paying attention. I am often told I appear to be in my own world at times. This is usually when I am over thinking.

What we want you to understand:
I want people to understand and tolerate myself and others with Aspergers.
Our attributes shouldn’t be used against us or to humiliate us.
As well as this; you need to accept and answer our questions. They might sound silly or annoying however the point is we are people who deserve understanding.
Think about how it would feel to be in our situations. Where you would be in trouble for something you can’t help doing.
Considered rude, stupid, annoying? Well this is how we feel every day when faced common social situations.

~ Molly xo