Suicide is not your only option!

How do you keep going, when all hope seems lost? How to keep picking up the pieces, when you've picked them up again and again all your life.

Life is a journey, an obstacle course, yes it can be hard, very hard, to the point... That last option is playing in your mind on repeat. My dad could not handle lifes obstacles. I know he was just one of many many! And there it is! the use of 'past tense'... 'Was'..The reality he or the loved one you have lost, is not here anymore, here as a living person. 

Yes, people do care, you may not realise it, or maybe that few monority of people who 'don't care, ie bullies' have convinced you that all do not care. 

Now step out of your shoes for just a minute, I know this may be very difficult, your disconection from the positive, your sense of 'nothing is worth it anymore' ...does indeed affect your judgement. 

Are you a mum, a dad, a sibling, an aunty, uncle, cousin, grandparent, a best friend, a lover? How are these people going to feel? The ones who do care? And believe me they do! You not only take away your life, but you take away a massive chunk of theirs too. What do you think is going to be their reaction, when they hear your pronounced death? How would you deal knowing one of these very close people to you...couldn't handle life anymore? That you will live the rest of your life, only having their memories... Thats it, memories.. memories you will live over and over each time you are trigged with the thought of your loved one. And the endless thoughts of what the future could have been for them and.. You. 

I think about my dad... I think about the way he chose to end his life.. The way that has left me utterly devistated... and how he isn't here anymore to see how I have grown up... Into the person I have become... He isn't here to see how even though, things have got extremely hard at times for me... I kept going... And I wish more then anything I could have been there to convince him... 'Life will get better, hold on'... Because its true. Life does get better. I am not saying, that you won't see any more of the obstacles life dishes out... Because no one can promise you that... But I can promise you... If you stay and stick around for lifes journey... You will encounter the best things of life yet to come... You will see that its worth it! Holding on through the negative will make you even more grateful for the positive moments and endless posibilities that are within your reach... But they won't be, if you take away your life, all those possibilities will vanish... Along with you.

 Suicide is not the only option you have!

These obstacles are here for a reason. If life was so easy for everyone, would we really be living? If there were no obstacles, we would just be simply existing.. Because we wouldn't know what the good things are or how to appreciate them... If everything life throws out was easy!

The things we come across in life, are lessons that are learnt and to be learned, they are the very things that teach us how to appreciate the good.

Every bad experience you have paths your path of life... They allow you to build youself into the person you are meant to be. Don't end it here! 

If you are feeling suicidal, Right in this moment, please call someone for help, and I mean really call for help! an emergency department!!

If you are feeling depressed and hopeless talk to your family, your friends and/or seek professional help! 

Be reasured! 

People are here! They are here for you! They care!!! Don't give up! The is so much more life has to offer you!

--Molly xxxx

How to deal with Depression (Written with Positivity)

Hello everyone :o)

Today I am talking to you about a common experience Aspies have. Depression.

Aspies are very susceptible to depression as you can imagine. However today this post is going to be focused on positivity, as this is needed by most people dealing with Depression. Therefore I will try my best not to expand on anything which is negative.

Being inside 24/hrs a day is a huge contributor, as your levels of vitamin D begin to decrease. Causing common physical complaints, (itchy skin, feeling 'yuck', feeling tired) and mental complaints (irritability, moodiness, Anxiety) and of course, Depression.

I well know people who have Depression lack motivation. So its very well for me to say, do this and that. However if you have Depression and are reading this page it is very certain you have recognized you have Depression and you want to get better. 
So my main priority with this post is to provide you with the information of what will help you once you have recognized this.

How do we cope with Depression?

From my experience and from listening to others with Depression the best way to tackle it is to get busy! And get out into the sunshine!

There are antidepressants available which are very helpful with re-motivating a person with Depression. I highly recommend if you are really suffering, see your doctor and discuss your options with them. 
My main focus for this post is the simple and effective lifestyle changes which also help 
antidepressants to be more effective.

So what do you do?

• Plan for tomorrow, tomorrow is a new beginning, a fresh start. Quote: "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life".

• Plan to get up early, have a shower, get dressed, carry out your full routine for the morning so you are ready to go anywhere.

• Go outside! Go shopping, go to the park, go for a walk, anything involving getting active.

• If you have nowhere to go, even just sit in the sun in your back/front yard ! (with sun protection of course) you do not need to sit in full sun to get the benefits.

• This will allow your mind and body to soak up some much needed vitamin D!

What is the next step:

Remove anything from your surroundings that is making you feel negative.

This may include;

• Throwing out old pages from your diary

• Deleting or hiding items on Facebook (such as; peers from school statues/videos/images about gossip, bullying, fights etc) even removing Facebook all together, even for a short period until you are feeling better.

• Open your windows, let the light in!

• Tidy your room, clean up any mess 

• Limit the time you spend inside

• Limit the time you spend on the internet

Now you need to think long term, what can keep me occupied? (something proactive)

Your new hobby could include (or pick up on an old hobby):

• Exercising

• Walking

• Swimming

• Gym

• Bike riding

• Art and craft (to make it more affordable look in second hand shops for materials)

• Jewelry making

• Photography

• Gardening

• Reading

• Poetry

• Singing

• Dancing

• Roller skating

• Card making

• Sewing/pattern making

• Plan and carry out a project, such as paper macheing furniture for a dolls house

• Awareness Cause

• Fund raising 

• Surfing

• BMX riding

• Skateboarding

• Spend time with animals

• Fishing

These are just some examples you can search in Google for more lists of potential hobbies.

Please Note:

This is my best advice, and it has helped me immensely, however I can not guarantee this will help everyone 100% as I know there are many with severe depression that needs medical attention. My best tip which applies to everyone; Do something about it now, whether that is talking to someone for help, medical attention, or these simple lifestyle changes I have provided.

Much love,

Xo Miss Molly oX

An insight of the inside of Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers

Today I want to share you how experiencing Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers feels and why you cannot be sure if someone is really okay.

Life is like being under a cloud. Most days it will float above, up in the sky.
It may turn black and threaten a storm but it does nothing. It builds up, getting bigger and bigger. Then one day all the build up will turn into a big raining thunderstorm that will go on for days or even weeks. That is when it will flood and life becomes a big muddy mess! You're stuck and you don't know when you will be free again.

You get along with life, however you come upon everyday struggles. You do not show it but some of them deeply affect you on the inside. This is the cloud building up. You get on with life, with the cloud hanging over you.

Everyday the cloud gradually builds up with your stress and tension.
Then one day the storm hits! You feel you can no longer keep it inside. Your tension and stress is shared among those close to you. You break down, you cry. You feel miserable, anxious, worried and cannot relax no matter how hard you try. As long as the storm carries on you show emotion to how you are feeling. You want the storm to pass but it persists.

Most people come out of the storm eventually. Then it will begin to build up again until the next storm.
People with Anxiety, Depression and Aspergers; their storms are more frequent because we build up much more frequently.
We find stress in more things. Simple things people usually brush off, we add to our cloud. Because to us, we feel it's negativity intensely.
This happens especially when you face not seeing any positives to life (Depression). When you get bullied for who you are and people do not understand you. Even when you try to teach them, they refuse to understand (Aspergers). When you feel anxious every hour of everyday, every little stress or doubt is trigger (Anxiety).

It is hard for other people to understand why we feel like this. This is because most of the time we do not show or share our storms (exception to family because they are living and dealing with the person). Mostly we feel no one will understand and it is so hard to explain how we are feeling on the inside. The rain and the thunder is released in our own time. Away from where we can be put to shame. Yet this adds to the effect of the storm because we desperately want people to understand.

You need to know:
Just because someone shows no emotion or change in emotion to how they are being treated. The stress they are being caused, or something big that's happened in their life. Does not mean they are 'okay' and they are 'dealing' with it. It means we are afraid you won't understand.

- Molly <3 xo

The Mental Health System

Last week my mum contacted Mental Health here to see if I could go back. I was dissmissed from seeing a physiatrist there after they assumed I didn't need anymore help and because I was too old to be seen.

That was last year. I have faced apon new struggles. I have been hit with Depression again after sometime and my anxiety is unbearable.
I am struggling to see positives, all I do is dwell on the negatives. I have lost all interest in my hobbies that entertained and kept me happy.
It is very common for children and adults on the Autism Spectrum to have low serotonin levels in their brain. Therefore mum and I think I should have my medication reviewed and have alternative Antidepressants introduced.

The medication I am taking is: 20mg Lexapro (Maximum dosage) and 1.5mg of Rispirodol.
I feel the Lexapro is doing nothing at all. I was previously taking 10mg. 

2 years ago it was increased to 20mg. It is unsafe to increase it passed the maximum dosage requirement. Its time I had it changed.
Mum recieved a phone call yesterday from the head of Mental Health after my issues were taken to the board to be assessed. He simply said. The medications fine. Its appropiate. There is no need for us to see Molly.

That is the biggest thing that ticks me off! After all the issues and troubles I explained to the lady on the phone last week. he thinks its fine!? He hasn't even met me, how would he know!
That brings me back to an experience last year.
I was seen by a physiatrist for a medication review and he refused to change anything, because in the first five minutes he met me, he observed, that I was simply, just painfully shy!
I am very disappointed because I feel like the system doesn't care. they are suppose to help people, not shoo them away when they defiantly need help!

I am seeing a psychologist however through a private practice. This lady I see has no control over my medication. She costs over $150 a session which it is hard for my mum to afford. Therefore I can only see her every 2-3 weeks. There also is limited amount of sessions you can have with her a year. About 10-12.

Please share your stories.

~ Molly xo