Get to know me! Facts about me!

16 Facts About Me!
Not many of you know much about me and I really don't want to be known as Anonymous!
So.. I thought it would be a great idea to share some facts about me! I would really like to get to know you too! So feel free to leave some facts about you in the comments! :)

Fact 1: I am a huge animal lover! I love cats and frogs especially!
Fact 2: I love to photograph
Fact 3: I've lived in QLD, WA, NT, NSW and TAS! And visted everywhere else in Australia.
Fact 4: I'm probably one of the nicest people you will ever met.
Fact 5: I actually like school work.
Fact 6: One you all know: I have Aspergers and I am proud of it.
Fact 7: I've lived on an Aboriginal community and I learned part of their language.
Fact 8: I am 16 years old!
Fact 9: I find happiness in the simplest things
Fact 10: I am super shy when you first met me, but I am fun and crazy when I'm comfortable around you.
Fact 11: I am always honest to my friends, and they can trust me with anything.
Fact 12: My mum is my hero. ♥
Fact 13: I want to become a proffessional Jeweller
Fact 14: I appeciate my family and friends very much <3
Fact 15: I have the weirdest sense of humor! But my close friends love it!
Fact 16: I like to make jewellery in my spare time... Made from buttons!

Below is a picture of a necklace I made, and a picture I took of a rose from our garden.

Hand-dyed Rainbow Button Necklace

Most Common Cause Aspie's are Bullied

A majority of teens and children with Aspergers can be accurately described as being socially naive, meaning that they are not street smart and they are unquestioning of peers. This naivety and their great need to belong often leaves Aspies open to being set up or manipulated by peers.

Aspies are often targeted and manipulated by bullies. They are susceptible to pranks and easy to fool. This leaves them open to being misled and forced into situations where they may exhibit reactions and or emotions uncharacteristic of neurotypical people.

"Aspies have limited social understanding, they do not recognize social meaning, context, cues and consequences." (Tony Attwoods, 2008)
The targeted Aspie is left feeling humiliated and wounded when the social consequences set in.
Adults or peers who were not witness to the situation take for granted the Aspie’s ability to negotiate social situations.

Can you relate?

~ Molly xo

Its a Personality Type!

Hello again.
I thought this would be a good opportunity to tell you a bit about who I am and my differences.

I believe Aspergers is a personality type. Yes it can affect you with your daily life. This is why its been labelled a condition/disability. However in many cases Aspergers isn't a condition or disability. Aspergers is just who we are and how we are with other people.

My Asperger's/Personality traits:
- I am very literal, I take things as I hear them and I always react before I think.
- I have anxiety when it comes to new people . I can be awkward and shy.
- Because of my little success with making friends I can worry about what I've done and said (more anxiety).
- I am pretty good at school, I can fully focus on one thing at a time.
- I get very comfortable around people I've known along time. My weird and quirky sense of humor and chatterbox traits sets in. In other words I trust them and can come out with my feelings and thoughts openly. However sometimes I do this too much (this is where I need friends who are accepting and understanding).
- I give little eye contact. When I do, I have trouble judging when its time to break from the eye contact. Therefore I either stare too much or not enough.

My traits provide me with a fun, crazy, quirky personality! I am trustworthy, understanding, tolerant, accepting, caring. I appreciative all those who love and support me. I stay true to those who stay true to me.

These are the most important things to understand about me! However I cannot explain this to all the new people I meet. It takes people who are willing to understand and learn to come here and read my blog.

- Molly xo

An insight of the inside of Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers

Today I want to share you how experiencing Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers feels and why you cannot be sure if someone is really okay.

Life is like being under a cloud. Most days it will float above, up in the sky.
It may turn black and threaten a storm but it does nothing. It builds up, getting bigger and bigger. Then one day all the build up will turn into a big raining thunderstorm that will go on for days or even weeks. That is when it will flood and life becomes a big muddy mess! You're stuck and you don't know when you will be free again.

You get along with life, however you come upon everyday struggles. You do not show it but some of them deeply affect you on the inside. This is the cloud building up. You get on with life, with the cloud hanging over you.

Everyday the cloud gradually builds up with your stress and tension.
Then one day the storm hits! You feel you can no longer keep it inside. Your tension and stress is shared among those close to you. You break down, you cry. You feel miserable, anxious, worried and cannot relax no matter how hard you try. As long as the storm carries on you show emotion to how you are feeling. You want the storm to pass but it persists.

Most people come out of the storm eventually. Then it will begin to build up again until the next storm.
People with Anxiety, Depression and Aspergers; their storms are more frequent because we build up much more frequently.
We find stress in more things. Simple things people usually brush off, we add to our cloud. Because to us, we feel it's negativity intensely.
This happens especially when you face not seeing any positives to life (Depression). When you get bullied for who you are and people do not understand you. Even when you try to teach them, they refuse to understand (Aspergers). When you feel anxious every hour of everyday, every little stress or doubt is trigger (Anxiety).

It is hard for other people to understand why we feel like this. This is because most of the time we do not show or share our storms (exception to family because they are living and dealing with the person). Mostly we feel no one will understand and it is so hard to explain how we are feeling on the inside. The rain and the thunder is released in our own time. Away from where we can be put to shame. Yet this adds to the effect of the storm because we desperately want people to understand.

You need to know:
Just because someone shows no emotion or change in emotion to how they are being treated. The stress they are being caused, or something big that's happened in their life. Does not mean they are 'okay' and they are 'dealing' with it. It means we are afraid you won't understand.

- Molly <3 xo

Avoiding Confussion

 Aspie: A person who has Aspergers

As an Aspie I find it difficult in many daily situations; To interpret and follow simply instructions.
I often find myself asking questions to clarify what it is I am meant to be doing, but people get annoyed because I clarify too often. It is important you know I am not trying to be annoying I am just trying to understand.

Here is an example:

An Aspergers boy is asked simply to clear the table.
He would then follow your instructions and clear everything off the table. This including unfinished meals and drinks. In the eyes of the nerotypical person he is considered silly or stupid. However if he had asked before clearing the table: "Do I leave their drinks, what if people are still eating?"
He would also be considered silly, stupid or annoying for asking these questions rarely asked by neurotypical people. He may also be accused of not listening to instructions.

Aspies understand the words you say (What we hear directly). Not the meaning behind what you say. Especially sarcasm, jokes and when you tell us things that are not genuine.

Most Apies believe what they hear. We are not given enough time to think about the other properties and meanings of the words spoken, the majority of neurotypical people wouldn’t need this time because in my words: they just get it.
I find that I react before I have the time to think about what has been said, and I’ve done this for so long now it’s a habit. The influence of this is that I am afraid to stand there thinking because if I were to do this I would find myself thoroughly thinking it through as we do (we are not satisfied until we’ve looked at it from all angles).
This is when someone waves a hand in front of me to see if I am paying attention. I am often told I appear to be in my own world at times. This is usually when I am over thinking.

What we want you to understand:
I want people to understand and tolerate myself and others with Aspergers.
Our attributes shouldn’t be used against us or to humiliate us.
As well as this; you need to accept and answer our questions. They might sound silly or annoying however the point is we are people who deserve understanding.
Think about how it would feel to be in our situations. Where you would be in trouble for something you can’t help doing.
Considered rude, stupid, annoying? Well this is how we feel every day when faced common social situations.

~ Molly xo

The Mental Health System

Last week my mum contacted Mental Health here to see if I could go back. I was dissmissed from seeing a physiatrist there after they assumed I didn't need anymore help and because I was too old to be seen.

That was last year. I have faced apon new struggles. I have been hit with Depression again after sometime and my anxiety is unbearable.
I am struggling to see positives, all I do is dwell on the negatives. I have lost all interest in my hobbies that entertained and kept me happy.
It is very common for children and adults on the Autism Spectrum to have low serotonin levels in their brain. Therefore mum and I think I should have my medication reviewed and have alternative Antidepressants introduced.

The medication I am taking is: 20mg Lexapro (Maximum dosage) and 1.5mg of Rispirodol.
I feel the Lexapro is doing nothing at all. I was previously taking 10mg. 

2 years ago it was increased to 20mg. It is unsafe to increase it passed the maximum dosage requirement. Its time I had it changed.
Mum recieved a phone call yesterday from the head of Mental Health after my issues were taken to the board to be assessed. He simply said. The medications fine. Its appropiate. There is no need for us to see Molly.

That is the biggest thing that ticks me off! After all the issues and troubles I explained to the lady on the phone last week. he thinks its fine!? He hasn't even met me, how would he know!
That brings me back to an experience last year.
I was seen by a physiatrist for a medication review and he refused to change anything, because in the first five minutes he met me, he observed, that I was simply, just painfully shy!
I am very disappointed because I feel like the system doesn't care. they are suppose to help people, not shoo them away when they defiantly need help!

I am seeing a psychologist however through a private practice. This lady I see has no control over my medication. She costs over $150 a session which it is hard for my mum to afford. Therefore I can only see her every 2-3 weeks. There also is limited amount of sessions you can have with her a year. About 10-12.

Please share your stories.

~ Molly xo

Bullying

Bullying is a major concern for Aspies
It is common for us to be bullied, humiliated and harassed. Simply because many people do not understand us or want to understand us.

In my experience even when I have explain to a person my different behaviors and reasons I act this way.
Most of the adolescences (even adults) who have bullied me have chosen not to understand.
I believe this is because they are scared of the unknown and are close-minded. 
Instead of learning about Aspergers they find it easier to ignore the information we provide.
Bullying occurs as a result. This is because they haven't learn how certain things we do are not to annoy them or irritates them. They do not understand it is who we are, we cannot help but be ourselves.

This year I am facing a new school for the first time.
So far I have told my new peers about my Aspergers. I thought (as I mentioned in my very first blog post);
I was bullied and mistreated in primary school because I never told anyone I had Aspergers. Therefore they didn't understand the way I did and perceived things.
So I this is why I decide to tell the people I meet. I told all of my peers I socialized with; I have Aspergers.
I've let them all know I am literal, and that I can misunderstand unclear or unspecific instructions.
Yet it is just as it was back in primary school.
It has worked out no better then if they didn't know at all I have Aspergers.
Reason being they won't take the time to listen to me or interpret the information I have told them.

I have tried sharing these posts on Facebook. However there are people who just do not care.
You can spread awareness as much as you like. However you cannot possibly make them understand unless they actually want to listen or read the information.

I have figured this:
Those who matter will listen and read because they care about you, and how being misunderstood affects you.
I see it this way: If someone hasn't taken the time to read or listen to the information you provided for them. Yet they continue to play pranks on you and tell you confusing jokes, even when you've told them hundreds of times, you are literal.
They are not worth anything to you. because this proves they simply DO NOT CARE.

What do you do about people who do not care about you? You do not care about them back!


In my experience. I like people to like me. Therefore I am nice to absolutely everyone at my own expense.
Constantly I find myself letting people get away with trampling all over me like I'm a door mat.

I worry about what people would do and say if I stood up to them. I never want the peace being disturbed and people not liking me.
So I let everyone get away with everything they do to me. This is when I am lucky to have my amazing mum.
Even when I say: No! do not intervene, just let it go!
She will ignore what I have said and go ahead with getting authority involved. This is because she knows I will keep getting treated badly until I have stood up for myself.
I never did this because I have always worried I will get someone in trouble.

I understand what I HEAR. Usually I cannot pick the MEANING behind what I hear.
If someone is being nice and encouraging me to do things, I will think it is because they are being genuine and are excited by what I can do.
However time after time it turns out it was a plan to humiliate and embarrass me.

MY ADVICE:
Let your parents intervene!
If they don't, because you want everything to be calm, and want to be liked.
People will think they can do anything to you and they won't ever stop! So stand up for yourself! 
If you cannot do it on your own, please let your parents, guardians or a trusted relation help.

REMEMBER:
Do not worry what others say, they don't matter to you.
You will not be in school your whole life!
There is a huge world out there beyond the school yard and classroom.
So do the best you can in school. Achieve at what you are good at!
You will be able to succeed in life, look back and be grateful you spent more time worrying about your future beyond school instead of trying to fit in and be liked.

I can also tell you now. Yes there are many people out there who do not want to understand you. However that is not to say there isn't!
There are many people, just as many out there who are open-minded, caring, understanding, accepting, tolerant and appreciative.
Be yourself! The right people, these people, will come to you in time. Continue to be your amazing self who has so many brilliant qualities. You will attract these people. Just as I have done.

I have had bad experiences with many bullies, close-minded and nasty people. However I have just as many if not more people who love me for who I am and appreciate my Aspergers qualities. There is hope for you too!

I better finish this post now, before it gets any longer. Hehe.

- Molly xo