An update after many months...

Hello,
I have not been here in so long, I have had a very eventful past six months... I know its four months into the new year, almost five! Happy New Year!! Hehe.
So before I begin some new and more interesting posts to do with... living with Aspergers.

I certainly think I should give an update on what has been happening for me:

• I got accepted at the beginning of this year... into my dream course... An Advance Diploma of Jewellery Design. Which goes for 3 years!

• I got awarded a scholarship which has significantly helped me with my course materials costs. Jewellery production... especially due to the use of precious metals... is very expensive.

• I met my long distance boyfriend for the first time in person this year! He is also an Aspie which is amazing, in the fact we relate and understand each other.

• I discovered I have a talent in drawing and I have kept up with my photography.

• I have developed independence... as far as... travelling with public transport, and using my initiative to get to any place I need or want to go. My mum explains how proud she is of me. :)

• I have made new friends and am finding my new adult education atmosphere a blessing. It is amazing how different it is to high school. It is so nice to be somewhere where people have mutual interests, ideas and hobbies.

•  I turn 18 years old in 21 days! Can you believe I created... Miss Molly and Asperger's when I was 15!

Please feel free to share your new years news too ! :)

~ Miss Molly x

Suicide is not your only option!

How do you keep going, when all hope seems lost? How to keep picking up the pieces, when you've picked them up again and again all your life.

Life is a journey, an obstacle course, yes it can be hard, very hard, to the point... That last option is playing in your mind on repeat. My dad could not handle lifes obstacles. I know he was just one of many many! And there it is! the use of 'past tense'... 'Was'..The reality he or the loved one you have lost, is not here anymore, here as a living person. 

Yes, people do care, you may not realise it, or maybe that few monority of people who 'don't care, ie bullies' have convinced you that all do not care. 

Now step out of your shoes for just a minute, I know this may be very difficult, your disconection from the positive, your sense of 'nothing is worth it anymore' ...does indeed affect your judgement. 

Are you a mum, a dad, a sibling, an aunty, uncle, cousin, grandparent, a best friend, a lover? How are these people going to feel? The ones who do care? And believe me they do! You not only take away your life, but you take away a massive chunk of theirs too. What do you think is going to be their reaction, when they hear your pronounced death? How would you deal knowing one of these very close people to you...couldn't handle life anymore? That you will live the rest of your life, only having their memories... Thats it, memories.. memories you will live over and over each time you are trigged with the thought of your loved one. And the endless thoughts of what the future could have been for them and.. You. 

I think about my dad... I think about the way he chose to end his life.. The way that has left me utterly devistated... and how he isn't here anymore to see how I have grown up... Into the person I have become... He isn't here to see how even though, things have got extremely hard at times for me... I kept going... And I wish more then anything I could have been there to convince him... 'Life will get better, hold on'... Because its true. Life does get better. I am not saying, that you won't see any more of the obstacles life dishes out... Because no one can promise you that... But I can promise you... If you stay and stick around for lifes journey... You will encounter the best things of life yet to come... You will see that its worth it! Holding on through the negative will make you even more grateful for the positive moments and endless posibilities that are within your reach... But they won't be, if you take away your life, all those possibilities will vanish... Along with you.

 Suicide is not the only option you have!

These obstacles are here for a reason. If life was so easy for everyone, would we really be living? If there were no obstacles, we would just be simply existing.. Because we wouldn't know what the good things are or how to appreciate them... If everything life throws out was easy!

The things we come across in life, are lessons that are learnt and to be learned, they are the very things that teach us how to appreciate the good.

Every bad experience you have paths your path of life... They allow you to build youself into the person you are meant to be. Don't end it here! 

If you are feeling suicidal, Right in this moment, please call someone for help, and I mean really call for help! an emergency department!!

If you are feeling depressed and hopeless talk to your family, your friends and/or seek professional help! 

Be reasured! 

People are here! They are here for you! They care!!! Don't give up! The is so much more life has to offer you!

--Molly xxxx

How to deal with Depression (Written with Positivity)

Hello everyone :o)

Today I am talking to you about a common experience Aspies have. Depression.

Aspies are very susceptible to depression as you can imagine. However today this post is going to be focused on positivity, as this is needed by most people dealing with Depression. Therefore I will try my best not to expand on anything which is negative.

Being inside 24/hrs a day is a huge contributor, as your levels of vitamin D begin to decrease. Causing common physical complaints, (itchy skin, feeling 'yuck', feeling tired) and mental complaints (irritability, moodiness, Anxiety) and of course, Depression.

I well know people who have Depression lack motivation. So its very well for me to say, do this and that. However if you have Depression and are reading this page it is very certain you have recognized you have Depression and you want to get better. 
So my main priority with this post is to provide you with the information of what will help you once you have recognized this.

How do we cope with Depression?

From my experience and from listening to others with Depression the best way to tackle it is to get busy! And get out into the sunshine!

There are antidepressants available which are very helpful with re-motivating a person with Depression. I highly recommend if you are really suffering, see your doctor and discuss your options with them. 
My main focus for this post is the simple and effective lifestyle changes which also help 
antidepressants to be more effective.

So what do you do?

• Plan for tomorrow, tomorrow is a new beginning, a fresh start. Quote: "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life".

• Plan to get up early, have a shower, get dressed, carry out your full routine for the morning so you are ready to go anywhere.

• Go outside! Go shopping, go to the park, go for a walk, anything involving getting active.

• If you have nowhere to go, even just sit in the sun in your back/front yard ! (with sun protection of course) you do not need to sit in full sun to get the benefits.

• This will allow your mind and body to soak up some much needed vitamin D!

What is the next step:

Remove anything from your surroundings that is making you feel negative.

This may include;

• Throwing out old pages from your diary

• Deleting or hiding items on Facebook (such as; peers from school statues/videos/images about gossip, bullying, fights etc) even removing Facebook all together, even for a short period until you are feeling better.

• Open your windows, let the light in!

• Tidy your room, clean up any mess 

• Limit the time you spend inside

• Limit the time you spend on the internet

Now you need to think long term, what can keep me occupied? (something proactive)

Your new hobby could include (or pick up on an old hobby):

• Exercising

• Walking

• Swimming

• Gym

• Bike riding

• Art and craft (to make it more affordable look in second hand shops for materials)

• Jewelry making

• Photography

• Gardening

• Reading

• Poetry

• Singing

• Dancing

• Roller skating

• Card making

• Sewing/pattern making

• Plan and carry out a project, such as paper macheing furniture for a dolls house

• Awareness Cause

• Fund raising 

• Surfing

• BMX riding

• Skateboarding

• Spend time with animals

• Fishing

These are just some examples you can search in Google for more lists of potential hobbies.

Please Note:

This is my best advice, and it has helped me immensely, however I can not guarantee this will help everyone 100% as I know there are many with severe depression that needs medical attention. My best tip which applies to everyone; Do something about it now, whether that is talking to someone for help, medical attention, or these simple lifestyle changes I have provided.

Much love,

Xo Miss Molly oX

What It Is Like To Be Me - A Girl With Aspergers Syndrome

My goal for this post is to give you an insight on what it is like for a person to have Aspergers Syndrome. 

Eye Contact:

Everyday I go out into the world feeling worried and fearful of situations where people will expect eye contact from me. I know I can't possibly possibly give it with absolute ease. Usually eye contact with me is awkward and they are left wondering why I can't look them in the eye.

It is impossible to tell everyone I have Aspergers.  I am not going to tell every shop keeper or person I come across.

Bullying:

I have been bullied! By people younger then me, the same age as me, even much older then me, including adults.

I have grown to fear people talking negatively about me. As I have experienced this most of my life.

This is where Aspies are sometimes called 'paranoid', which I can be at times. When I hear people mentioning my name, I instantly think its something bad about me. 

This is a result of the many times at school I had walked in on my peers speaking badly about me.

Friendship:

I need absoulute acceptance when it comes to friendship making and socializing which is so hard to find. Most of the time peers do not look beyond my Aspergers (they see its negatives, not its positives) to see my good qualities (In a few posts I have outlined what my qualities are and I think you can agree, they are the most things you want in a friend). 

I struggle very much to make friends, and I struggle even harder to keep them. I cannot count how many times my heart has been broken from as loss of a friendship.

Obviously:

I often say very obvious things. A little known fact:  Aspies like me need to release our thoughts. It is part of they way we process situations and our surroundings. Many people find this annoying though. Which is frustrating as we try very hard to contain our thoughts.

Literally:

One of the most common traits of Aspergers is being literal. For me this means I do not understand double meanings (I have learnt some but I have to think about them). It means I am easy to fool. This is where I have been the subject of many pranks. Because of this trait I often feel dumb or stupid.

In the past I have come home and cried for hours from a hard day at school of being pranked. Because no matter how hard I try, I know I cannot be what you call 'street smart' and socialize easily like other people my age do. 

School Work:

With school work, I am confident and I know when I have the chance to concentrate fully I can do amazing work. Maths is my strongest subject which I actually enjoy doing.

However in the school environment I can fail easily. Not because I lack intelligence,  but because of distractions. As well as having not been given enough time to complete my work to the best of my ability.

With my school work I use a lot of detail. Many times I have written a thousand words over the word limit.

As my mum has said often to my teachers; I produce less work, but the work I produce is of highest quality. This is in comparison to the average neurotypical students who produces lots of work of average standard.

Hobbies/Interests:

As an aspie girl I have a few hobbies. It is well known because of Aspies large attention span when it comes to things they like. We can be found in a corner at ten o'clock in the morning and found in the same place hours after dark when we are focusing on something that interests us.

Aspies can be shining stars when it comes to an interest.

This is hugely evident in the way Bill Gates (a fellow Aspie) became so successful with his computer programs. 

Personally, I like to photograph and make jewellery and I never fail to have amazing comments and compliments given to me.

Unaccepting People:

I deal with many people who are intolerant of me.

I am always left feeling like I am annoying them when I am simply being me and carrying out my tasks. It actually affects me deeply to be called annoying. I'm sure it affects other Aspies too.

I am excluded constantly, because people feel its easier to socialize with my other family members or friends who are non-aspies. Rather then myself.

Psychiatrists/Psychologists:

Having been officially diagnosed with Aspergers at 9 years old. Before and after then I have meet many many psychologists and doctors with so many different opinions; from OCD to just saying I am painfully shy.  I would say I have seen at least 10 different psychologists and psychiatrists in my life time and I know many of you would have similar experiences.

This has caused my family and I a lot of grief. An example of this is they have treated me for OCD, which did not work and only caused meltdowns. 

Many times I have felt hopeless, because of the psychiatrists inflexible thinking, they refuse to see the way my mum and I see it. They always have to be more right then the previous psychiatrists.

I have just giving you a number of my experiences with having Aspergers. This is what I have to deal with everyday and other Aspies too. 

~Molly xo

Dealing with Close-Minded and Unaccepting People

If you have Aspergers or support someone with Aspergers it is highly likely you have met or come across people who not only misunderstand you and Aspergers. They refuse to learn how they can understand!

As I have said many times:
You can give and provide them the information as much as you like. People are not going to read it unless they want to.
Close minded people do not change their way of thinking once they believe something.
So if they think people with Aspergers are weird, not normal or they find your differences annoying. They are going to continue to believe this no matter how much information you provide. 
We now know these people are not going to change (just like we can't change who we are).
Now this is where we need to learn how to deal and cope with these people.

The most common places you will find close minded people are:
Through social networks, such as:

• School

• In your family

• Workplace

• Family friends

• Friends of friends

• Online: such as Facebook, twitter, forums, etc.

What are the signs a person is close-minded, intolerant and misunderstanding?

• They do not tolerate your behaviours, such as common things you do and say.

• They ignore you or get easily distracted when you are explaining Aspergers to them.

• They continue to be mean and tease you for your behaviours, even after they have been told of why you are doing things in certain ways.

• They get easily irritated and annoyed by you.

• They ignore you and exclude you from social situations and events.

• They confine to people who dislike you and your behaviours.

• They find reasons to put you down all the time.

• They gossip and complain to other people all the time about you and your differences.

How do we deal with these people? 

•  Remember you cannot change them.

•  Accept you can not change them.

•  Remember they can only effect you if you let them! 

•  Brush off when they tease you or complain about you.

•  Know that if that is how they treat you, you're better off not being their friend anyways! 

• Do not change the way you are or how you do things because they want you to! In society everyone needs to learn to tolerate each other. Therefore you do not have to change because someone is intolerant of you! 

• Continuing to be the nice person you are despite how rude they are to you. This shows that you are a better person! The good people will see this and their true colours. However with this tip; if they are doing something that crosses the line to the point they are taking advanatage of your niceness and maturity. Do not hesitate to stand up for yourself, or involve someone who can help you! 

• Remember just because they say something hurtful or degrading about you, does not make it true! When people say mean things it is because they do not understand. (Such as saying, werid, crazy, unnormal, etc.)

• Remember even if they don't have Aspergers they have habits and things they do that need tolerating! Therefore they have no right to not tolerate the things you do!

• Keep smiling! Nothing gets up their nose more then seeing they don't affect you!

•  Surround yourself with people who are open-minded, accepting and tolerant. These people see the beauty in your differences unlike the close-minded people.

•  If they have made a mean statement or comment about you or Aspergers; remember they are close minded people for a reason! (They don't change their way of thinking) So do not comment back trying to prove them otherwise! They will only come back with more aggravation! I know it is hard when you see someone saying nasty things, but the best thing to do is to ignore it! By doing this you are showing you are the bigger person and avoiding the person getting nastier.

I hope I have helped you all! I have found this has helped myself tremendously having all these tips written out!  Remember you are a great person! Your are amazing and there is nothing wrong with you no matter what anyone says! Your differences are beautiful! They make you the very person you are!

Bye for now,
Love Molly xo

When an Aspie is made to feel Annoying

As an Aspergers girl I have experienced many times over, the feeling of being a nuisance because of  my actions and responses which are not considered normal social behavior.

The worst thing for an Aspie to experience is when a person struggles to understand us and our behaviour.  

The person instead of learning why we are different, they excluded us and  treat us like a nuisance.

It is uttermost heartbreaking for the Aspie to feel like they annoy everyone. 

Yet many do not see how deeply it affects the Aspie. Many Aspies end up experiencing depression because of this. I often think how can I change so people like me and not think I am annoying? But at the end of the day you can't help but be yourself especially if you have Aspergers.

I have a younger sister who is very capable at normal social behaviour. A person often finds it easier to interact and socialize with her rather then myself.

Then the cycle begins, I am left excluded and they continue to enjoy each others company while I am made to occupy myself.

What can you do differently when you meet an Aspie (how you can make them feel understood):

1. Accept them as they are

2. Tolerate them (they can't help the way they are, just as you can't help but be the person you are!)

3. Treat them the way you treat everyone else

4. Include them (don't exclude them) 

5. Return their efforts to be friendly.

We want to make friends just like everyone.

Take note of this quote: don't criticize what you don't understand.

~ Molly xo

I am back! Recently moved to Perth, WA! New Topic: Social Anxiety

Hello everyone!

I am extremely sorry I have not been around for awhile now!

As the title suggests I am now living in Perth, Western Australia. After leaving Queensland for good in July.

I have so much to share with you all! But I want to keep this post simple, because myself the queen of detailing could easily write forever! Haha! (An Aspergers trait)

I now live in a lovely suburb just outside of Perth! I have a beautiful new home! There will be pictures to come!

Leaving behind my pets (how it affects an Aspie):

I had to leave two of my cats behind in Queensland. For a person with Aspergers it is very heartbreaking. I know it is hard enough for a neurotypical person. 

People with Aspergers very commonly grow attachments to their pets. This is because our pets are really sometimes the only ones who listen to us. They never judge us.
We feel accepted by them and we are not required to explain our behaviors to them.

My new schooling:

As for schooling I am now doing Distance TAFE. A certificate which will grant me year 12 equivalency and access to further learning and career choices.

I am quite happy with this arrangement as it gives me a nice break from the pressure to socially interact everyday with people I am not use to.

My developed Social Anxiety:

That brings me to another subject!

My social anxiety has become extremely prevalent and increasing worse over the past few months!

Social anxiety usually comes in hand with Aspergers.
This is because we begin to doubt ourselves as we grow older into our teenage years and adulthood. We become more aware of how our actions are being received by other people around us.

I am now finding it increasingly difficult to look people in the eye. When I become within a close distance to people I don't know I become anixous. This is causes my facial muscles to tighen making it hard for me to smile. 

I would like to know if you experience this and can relate?

I would also like to make those aware who meet me that this fear and anxiety I have (even around people close to me) is nothing personally to do with you! 

This is my own anxiety; stemmed from self doubt, fear of rejection and being misunderstood.
One of the best things you can do for me and other people with Aspergers and Social Anxiety is to expect no eye contact from us. Accept it if we look away while you talk to us. We greatly appreciate it when people do this for us.

A big thank you!

I must thank you all for supporting me through the last two years! I began Miss Molly and Aspergers at 15 years old and I have grown and developed so much since. I am sure this is evident to you.

Again I am really sorry I have not kept update with blogging. However now I can make the effort to. I have moved away from the difficulties I had in Queensland.

So now I am starting a fresh new life which is certain to bring you all very brand new perspective to my daily life living with Aspergers.

~ Molly xo

P.S Oops this post did not end up very simple. Hehe. :)

Want to see what I have been up to?

Below are my links to my hobby pages on Facebook:

My photography: https://www.facebook.com/MissMollysPhotography?ref=hl

My collages: https://www.facebook.com/MissMollysCreativeCollages?ref=hl

My jewellery: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beauté-Beads/194550177221673?ref=hl

Fremantle Harbour, Western Australia